okay, so I work with an older ESTP man and am as close to friends as an ENFP will be able to get to an ESTP given the massive diffs.
I noticed trends due to out tert Fe/Te differences.
Hi Happy Puppy!
I love the rainbow vomit in your avi.
I've copied your original statements and will edit them (if needed) so they apply to my implementation of ESTP(7w8).
1. He never says mean things to people he cares for.
I actually will playfully insult locker room style those I care for.
If I insult you and pick on you, I really like you.
1a. I never say mean things to people I love, specifically my family members.
1b. My friends, acquaintance, and those I care for I will playfully insult locker room style.
2. When under stress he becomes calm
When I am under stress I become agitated.
2. When under stress I am at my calmest. When other people are freaking out because of stress, I am poised to take opportunistic action. I am comfortable on the brink of disasters, as I can peacefully triage them, think through them, and resolve them.
Examples for me include tactical vehicular manuevering to avoid collisions, solving unexpected workflow problems, and even personal confrontations, whether verbal or physical. I've always had nerves of steel, I know no other way to be.
P.S. When I am
under stress bored I become agitated.
3. When angry, frustrated or irritated he will withdraw
When I am angry, frustrated or irritated I will be very direct and even confrontational.
3. When angry, frustrated or irritated I will behave as follows:
Personal matters:
Very direct and confrontational if needed.
Professional matters:
Angry, frustrated, or irritated with a superior or client:
Communicate, negotiate, withdraw only if needed.
Angry, frustrated, or irritated with a peer or colleague:
Communicate, negotiate, or open uop a can of whoop-ass if needed.
P.S. Revenge is a whole different matter entirely...
4. So my observation: When I am hurt I will withdraw.
Interesting.
When I am hurt (which is very, very rare) I'll either stop the conversation or whatever is going on right there and ask for clarification, as sometimes people say things other than what they mean, and also sometimes I hear things differently than others intended.
If the words do turn out to be hurtful I will state what my issue is, allow the other party to respond, and if their response is not sufficient to warrant their company worth my presence I will then excuse myself, but I am not withdrawing; I let them know I was offended and told them what I thought of it and excused myself.
There's only one or two conversations I can recall where someone said something to me that was quite hurtful and I lost my cool, got in their face and told them:
"Shut your fucking mouth! DO NOT speak to me that way EVER again. Now LEAVE."
Also, there's a pre-qualifier that only people you love can hurt you to an ESTP from what I can tell. Friends, neighbors, and coworkers can irritate us or piss us off but not hurt us.
Does he mistake this for his angry, frustrated withdraw in point 3? Thus he thinks I am mad when I am really hurt?
My guess is "No" because he does not asssume you react as he does, and does not expect your physical responses in one situation to be representative of another situation if the two are indeed different. Also, he expects you to be direct and professional in dealing with him, just a hunch.
Also what would the ESTP response to being hurt be? Would you be direct about your hurt feelings?
I think I answered this above, if not let me know...
thanks!
You're welcome!
-Halla