PeaceBaby
reborn
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2009
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- 5,950
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Oh yeghor - I like your energy. But what am I going to do with you? If you're not up to being challenged, say so now and I will step away.
No, she meant that Mane was referring to people over 50 as being in a space where they can more capably examine this blindspot. If you look at Eilonwy's profile, you will see that she is over that age.
No, that's not what he's saying. He's saying, "My experience with one INFJ was this. Please tell me that this was an isolated incident. I'm not hopeful it was anymore now that I have read this thread, because I can see that other people have had a similar experience. It looks like it might be a pattern. Either way, is there anything I could do to have tenable relations with my ex-partner and still see the boy I consider my son?"
You're quite the insulting creature, you know that? Eilonwy IS an INFJ. It's actually considered quite rude to repeatedly question a person's self-typing regardless. Perhaps you could at least improve your manners in this regard.
Trust me, I'm an Fi user and I am following your reasoning flawlessly. The problem is is that your reasoning in this situation is flawed. And, the fact that you are unwilling to go back and re-reason it out is the fundamental premise of this thread. You are quite markedly trying to support your initial conclusions by doing things like pushing people into alternate types, and providing all other manner of justification as to why the puzzle pieces are no longer fitting as well as the post you made as first entry into this thread.
The operative word here is "imagined".
You also win the "Captain Obvious" award of the day.
To me, the issue is one of Ti. It's your tertiary function, a comfort function, a weak function. A tripping point. Here's what I see as happening - you read through this thread, filled in many of the logic-gaps with your own data to make the story make "sense", had a visceral Fe reaction to this imagining of what must have been "wrong" with Mane to have predicated the "doorslam" and proceeded to address him from that subjective perspective presented as an objective one. Since you saw the "doorslam" as the outcome, you concluded he must have done something WRONG to make it happen. Because he vented emotional data, it made it even harder for you to detach, amping up your Fe reaction.
iow, to me you too fully assumed the role of Mane's ex-partner. That's not what he was asking anyone to do. He needed an INFJ who could be way more detached than that. To look past the emo-meltdown and try to "Ti" things out in this situation to make sense again. It's not anyone's fault you assumed the INFJ emotions and became angry at him for feeling that way. But you do have control over what you choose to dish back. As an INFJ, to me that means you need to be able to use your Fe to suss out that Ti truth from his perspective too. Not just YOURS. If you were Mane, and you were treated that way, how would it feel? How can you help? Do you have advice?
You missed me on this part?Oh you mean the Murtaugh meme...No it wasn't aimed at you
No, she meant that Mane was referring to people over 50 as being in a space where they can more capably examine this blindspot. If you look at Eilonwy's profile, you will see that she is over that age.
I beg to differ...He's saying: "INFJs are X and if they are not willing to accept or unable to see that they are X, then all that also proves my point that INFJs are X..."...It's a circular logic...It's a case of "Damned if I do, damned if I don't"...
No, that's not what he's saying. He's saying, "My experience with one INFJ was this. Please tell me that this was an isolated incident. I'm not hopeful it was anymore now that I have read this thread, because I can see that other people have had a similar experience. It looks like it might be a pattern. Either way, is there anything I could do to have tenable relations with my ex-partner and still see the boy I consider my son?"
You can use analogies, symbols to construct a linear pathway for your reasoning...I guess Ti users (like me) can follow that much easier...I don't know how I can remold my reasoning for better understanding by Fi-users...I am open to your suggestions on that...
You're quite the insulting creature, you know that? Eilonwy IS an INFJ. It's actually considered quite rude to repeatedly question a person's self-typing regardless. Perhaps you could at least improve your manners in this regard.
Trust me, I'm an Fi user and I am following your reasoning flawlessly. The problem is is that your reasoning in this situation is flawed. And, the fact that you are unwilling to go back and re-reason it out is the fundamental premise of this thread. You are quite markedly trying to support your initial conclusions by doing things like pushing people into alternate types, and providing all other manner of justification as to why the puzzle pieces are no longer fitting as well as the post you made as first entry into this thread.
Strange...I've always imagined those with strong Fi to be much more vindictive...
The operative word here is "imagined".
Or perhapstheypeople with strong Fi also happen to have a...blindspot...
You also win the "Captain Obvious" award of the day.
To me, the issue is one of Ti. It's your tertiary function, a comfort function, a weak function. A tripping point. Here's what I see as happening - you read through this thread, filled in many of the logic-gaps with your own data to make the story make "sense", had a visceral Fe reaction to this imagining of what must have been "wrong" with Mane to have predicated the "doorslam" and proceeded to address him from that subjective perspective presented as an objective one. Since you saw the "doorslam" as the outcome, you concluded he must have done something WRONG to make it happen. Because he vented emotional data, it made it even harder for you to detach, amping up your Fe reaction.
iow, to me you too fully assumed the role of Mane's ex-partner. That's not what he was asking anyone to do. He needed an INFJ who could be way more detached than that. To look past the emo-meltdown and try to "Ti" things out in this situation to make sense again. It's not anyone's fault you assumed the INFJ emotions and became angry at him for feeling that way. But you do have control over what you choose to dish back. As an INFJ, to me that means you need to be able to use your Fe to suss out that Ti truth from his perspective too. Not just YOURS. If you were Mane, and you were treated that way, how would it feel? How can you help? Do you have advice?