Billy
Crazy Diamond
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2009
- Messages
- 1,192
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
I love my INFJ friends. But I've noticed that some of them have a tendency to overly rely on doorslamming people when things get a bit uncomfortable.
For example, one of my INFJ friends unfriended me and blocked me on facebook when I sent her a note asking if she was OK because she had posted a profile picture of a bleeding wrist. (Then out of the blue, eight months later, she sends me a friend request.)
I don't get it. Maybe I'm too extraverted, too perceiving, or too Te (I'm only barely F so my extraverted thinking is pretty darn strong), but this seems like an unproductive, and in the extreme, self-sabotaging behavior. It's also hurt my feelings more than once. The INFJ seems to just need to shut me out while they sort through things on their own.
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this dynamic with INFJs and if they'd share their perspectives. Also, for those INFJs out there, I'd appreciate you helping me understand what might be going on. I read people very well. I understand where INFJs are coming from intuitively without even trying... except for the doorslamming. I just don't get it. It completely baffles me.
Also, I'd appreciate suggestions on the best way to be a good friend to the doorslamming INFJ, while also taking care of my own needs to not feel abandoned by my INFJ friends.
you may be able to understand a lot, but I am beginning to think that INFJs are not understandable. I have door slammed lots of people, im doing it to 3 people right now. It basically boils down to how much tolerance I have and am able to muster to pretend I am anything but annoyed by the relationship. I usually only doorslam people when they hurt me, i go out of my way to live a life where I am not a threatening person and I am super easy to talk to, so people dont usually have an ability to hurt me, when they do, they get door slammed. I typically only door slam out of betrayal of some type.
How to talk to an INFJ who is doorslamming you? I dont know... usually you cant. My guess would be to use a 3rd person who is not in the middle of being shut out to act as an emissary. I have been in this situation before and the 3rd person really helped me to see that i was acting stupid and made me feel like i was overacting with the doorslam.