LazerRedDive
New member
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2012
- Messages
- 7
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
Dude.. your circumstances are sad and all, but- forgive me if my bluntness seems abrasive- no one "got" you pregnant. You chose to fuck a guy, and either your contraception failed, or you didn't use any. It's not like he just ran up behind you, yelled SURPRISE!, injected you with semen, & ran away. Have some personal accountability for who and what you choose to put in your pants.
His behavior doesn't sound necessarily like an INFJ cliche doorslam thing.. it goes above and beyond simple cutting off, when all that garbage is involved. Ultimately, it just kinda sounds like an unstable, irresponsible asshole, regardless of type. There's no simpler way to put it, and absolutely no excuse for his actions. Whether the cancer thing is true or not, how he chooses to allow that to affect his behavior toward others is on him, 100%. It sucks not to have that kind of support from someone you cared about, and are now going to be geneticallly linked to, forever. I'm sorry you have to deal with that in tandem with all the craziness that comes with just being pregnant. I won't pretend to know how overwhelming that must feel for you, moment to moment. I hope you have friends and family around for you.
And speaking of that genetic link.. your financial woes may end once the child is born. If you truly are that financially destitute.. Get on public assistance/Medicaid, if you live in the US. ASAP. Being on such public assistance programs is your gateway to getting many court fees waived in things like paternity testing & filing for things like child support. If he won't take responsibility, then make him. Even if he bails on it for years, it'll catch up to him eventually. And public assistance is there to help you help yourself. And your child. So get on your feet, and deal with the situation. Try to make a stable life for yourself and your kid. Use the help that is available to you, the best you can. I don't imagine you'd ideally want to go through all of that legal shit- who does- but especially when the welfare of another life is involved, you might as well push on, and be prepared for the worst [if he just never comes around/owns up to his part], so that once the child is born, you can focus mostly on caring for it, vs just struggling to pay your rent/live day to day, & frantically rifling through documents & just starting the legal processing crap from there.
Not telling you what to do- just making you aware of options available to you to potentially lighten some of your burden.
I wish you luck.
Thank you Lexicon did not mean to play the victim card, but there is a lot I left out of the story. Of course I do accept my share of responsibility, and I did not mean to imply that this behavior (other than the door slam) is typical INFJ behavior. I suspect that he is caught in an unhealthy pattern of life. As far as my finances go (a completely different story...) I was laid off from my job when I was six months pregnant. My boss didn't like how big my belly was getting, and he gradually decreased my days from 5 to 1 to none -- so I didn't have the time/means to save as I had originally planned. I dislike telling you this because it seems like I'm playing the victim card again. Mostly it just feels like I'm walking under an unlucky cloud at the moment. I did file a complaint with the HRC, it will just take several months to process. Anyway, I am taking advantage of the resources available to me, and I am blessed to have good friends and neighbors who know me well and support my decision. Thanks for the good luck and wishes, the compassion, and the good advice. Thanks for helping to lighten the burden...