for the purposes of this project, we’re using a pretty broad (and to some extent, arbitrary) definition of “passive-aggressive” that roughly correlates with how the term is popularly used. as the new york times wrote: “the classic description of the behavior captures a stubborn malcontent, someone who passively resists fulfilling routine tasks, complains of being misunderstood and underappreciated, unreasonably scorns authority and voices exaggerated complaints of personal misfortune.” and to quote dr. scott wetzler, a clinical psychologist and the author of living with the passive-aggressive man: “a joke can be the most skillful passive-aggressive act there is.”
all that said, many of the notes found here aren’t really passive-aggressive even by our generous standards — though quite a few of these are, in fact, responses to passive-aggressive behavior. some of these notes are really more aggressive in tone, and some of them are more passive — polite, even — but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into written form rather than a direct confrontation. it’s barbed criticism disguised as something else — helpful advice, a funny joke, simple forgetfulness. really, what it comes down to is that this project has very quickly taken on a life of its own — one that defies any kind of label. but, like pornography, you know it when you see it.