I'm re-reading "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" by Ken Kesey. It's feels more tragic, knowing McMurphy's end. But I am inspired by his rebellious nature, his individuality against the system, his effort to get the other patients to escape the fog of the Combine, to be human again. The day-to-day grind of the Combine, whether it's in the form of a mental hospital, peer group, culture, society, or government, always keeps its pressure on you to conform, until you shrivel into nothing but a tired sack of skin. And yet, as he demonstrated when he tried and failed to pick up the panel, even if you can't beat the system, it's better to have boldly lived on your own terms.
I recently read the part where Chief Broom mentions that McMurphy does what he wants to do, despite how he looks. He will write a beautiful letter or paint a picture, even though he only seems like a scarred, red-headed gambler, a hustler who likes to fight and fuck too much. And his laughter over everything, over a story, a card game, over the absurdity of life, is something that is precious and shouldn't be taken away. I should remember to laugh more, to not take myself so seriously. When I start to settle into the motions of the system I interact with, I forget that I am human.