OrangeAppled, this is probably one of my favorite posts from you on here, btw.
I find myself initially extremely attracted to INxx's, at least initially.
As far INTPs specifically, I don't know any IRL. So I'll go based on my limited interactions online with them.
As an ENFP.. something I struggle with is getting worried or nervous that my "shinyness" will wear off. I can meet someone in a very happy, excited mood with bells and whistles going off, looking and acting my best, in tip-top shape. I get this thing where it seems like people are attracted to me for things like this.. but.. this isn't 100% who I am. It IS a part of who I am, and makes me happy to be that way for sure.. but I am mellow as well. I am normal. I am human, and there are many facets to me, and MANY of them are pretty ordinary. Once people realize I'm a pretty regular person, they almost taper off.. lose interest. I wasn't this exciting thing they thought I was. In turn.. I don't feel very exciting or interesting, either...
It scares me a bit to mix that with the "play-thing" mentality INTPs seem to have. Once the puzzle is solved.. Do they frame it and admire their work everyday? Or does it just sit on the shelf and collect dust because they're bored of it?
I could be entirely wrong on this.. I don't know any INTPs IRL.. but. Based on things INTPs have said here, it would concern me on a romantic note. I couldn't care less if they were just friends.
we were both able to be open about our feelings. Even they were surprised at how open they were (but I get that with people a lot). I could also be cynical in my expressions without criticism from one INTP, and he'd do the same with me....we'd egg each other on actually, and then both end up talking the other out of such a negative mindset.
Absolutely, on point, is WHY I am so initially attracted. If I could ever be 100% of myself around anyone, I think it would be an Introverted intuitive. I just get this weight lifted off my shoulders.. like we aren't in society anymore, and I can just *be*.
they made it personal by attacking my views & character so they could soothe their pent up anger at the irrational world.
This part here is where I start to get nervous, however. Once I think I'm safe, and acting like myself.. they also feel more comfortable, and even comfortable enough to start making comments on what they feel are shortcomings. I think they forget how subjective the world is... I don't aim for objectivity, I aim for what's right and fair, in that order. Objectivity is not the only way to get to that.. so I don't always use it. "It is what it is" is something I say a lot.. and I think it's an expression INTPs don't like. "WHY is it that way?! That's like saying 'because I said so!' " I'm sure that saying has made more than one INTP growing up angry. :3
I don't owe an explanation of every belief I have, and it's a
courtesy when I do consent to explain my views. Just because I don't explain my thinking does not make it unreasonable[/quote]
This part here makes me even more nervous. Sometimes.. I don't have an explanation. Something comes to me, or happens to me, and it just is. It's there. Or it's been said.. and trying to link it from what spark it's existance in words is extremely difficult for me. I'm attracted to N's because I'm bad at explaining myself and things.. I try.. but I need those intuitive leaps to cover what I miss.
What I dislike is this sort of "prove it to me" attitude, as if the INTP is the sole arbiter of all that is true in the world.
I don't find myself an extremely logical person.. I find value in logic, but not to the extent that this is the only thing I base the world on. The world isn't very logical, if anyone hasn't noticed.. proving everything like it's got to have evidence in a court case makes me feel backed into a corner and sad.. and I just clam up and never talk at all to avoid it.
^it might sound messed up but I believe some INTPs like myself simply like to put other NFs through "the gauntlet".
So long as you INTPs don't get all uppity if and when I do the same.. we're even and fine.
Cold blooded unless they want/need something from you.
I've gotten this vibe as well from INTx's.. they seem really sweet or nice, and then once they've gotten what they were looking for, the attitude totally changes. I've only encountered this from INTJs IRL, but it is a vibe I get from INTx's.
ENFPs, on the other hand, are a different beast entirely and tend to be hit or miss. Some are infuriating, others have such an intrigue to them, they're beautiful puzzles. The difference between how I see the INFP and ENFP, I appropriate to 4/9 vs 7/8 enneagram respectively, or I suppose Ne placement.
I could see myself being infuriating to an INTP even if they did find me interesting enough to stick around for.
With ALL of that said.
Overall, I love them. They're so different from myself.. Personally, variety in nearly everything is what makes things balance out and function correctly.. surrounding myself with people different from myself rocks.
I like having 'partners' in life. People I know treat me as equals.. INTPs seem extremely reassuring about this. Who you are, and what you do make yourself.. not situations. On a romantic note, I don't want to NEED someone.. I just want to learn to need them. I want someone, for sure.. but I'm okay with living life on my own. Having someone that also feels this way makes them the perfect partner-in-crime if you will.
There are some things that worry me, or make me nervous. But I don't think those things are near enough to dampen my optimistic thinking about them. I'll report back when I've had more IRL experience with INTPs.