They are truly charismatic people. Though they are controlling, they are from the less abrasive group of control freaks.
Well I doubt your evil cult leader *thinks* he's manipulative (although some of them probably fully recognize what they're doing and enjoy wielding that control). ;-) He's probably so into his own world vision and thinking it's the 'right' one that he wants everyone else to follow in his footsteps.... ?
I frequently feel very schizophrenic wanting desperately to actualize and care for people while striding around like a benevolent Napoleon and knocking over the trash. I don't see how the two urges even REMOTELY go together, but there they are. *sighs* I'm told by several people that I could have been a hideously evil cult leader if I had not been taken in hand early, but I just don't see it. I don't believe in my capacity to be so manipulative. I feel like I get assigned power over others that I don't have?
Exactly. It's like the psychic INFJs that everyone is always talking about. I wish I had these special powers.
I wanted to point out something that I like about NFJs.
Last night, my sister and I got on the subject of a boy (an ISFP) I used to go to automotive school with. He and his brothers were beaten up frequently by his dad who was a real nasty piece of work. Boy used to be extremely skittish, quiet, didn't look people in the eye. He was always out the door first when the "all clear" was given for the day. I knew about him because his mother worked with my mother, and Boy's dad had been on the FBI's most wanted list at one point which I know was humiliating for him. I had to reassure him that every man made his way in life and that he wasn't going to become his father, and that no one thought he was his dad. For some reason he needed to hear that.
You know a loaded gun when you see one. Boy was exactly that -- quiet and hurt and dangerous. Because of that I made a point of calling him by name every day, smiling at him, sitting next to him and talking to him. I carefully got him used to being touched again without flinching. (He used to duck his head away from people as if they were going to hit him.) He was very sweet and pleasant, and had a very pretty smile. He was unfailingly polite to me. I was voted to represent the diesel program in the Student Government Association, and when I came back from one of our events, I was loaded down with cupcakes for the guys, and I went looking especially for Boy because I knew he didn't eat regularly. (My sister used to feed him too when she was up from the welding lab.)
I found him on a back stairwell all alone as usual. Prattling away, I packed three cupcakes into him before he had a chance to protest. He was smiling too much to complain.
Between me and my ex-Marine ESFJ male friend George we got Boy smiling and relaxed again. The rest of the guys had dismissed Boy as a freak.
I couldn't let them do that to him. He was already a kicked dog.
And it's guys like you that make life a fuck of a lot easier for guys like me, bar none.
Away from the forum, i'm one of the meanies where there's not reason to be otherwise....there are such things as mean ENFJs?
Every MBTI type has their downside but being negative is not something Ive seen in any ENFJs I've known.