Magic Poriferan
^He pronks, too!
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Messages
- 14,081
- MBTI Type
- Yin
- Enneagram
- One
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
I seem to have a problem with this. I've known for a long time that I am an anxious person, but today it was vividly illustrated
I had to call some apartment owners about seeing a place. I should have called much sooner, but I kept putting it off. Due to time pressure from someone else, I finally called today, but not before hours of doing nothing. I took the phone into my room, and then occasionally picked it up and put it down, re-checked my information, and stalked about the room, literally for hours. When I got close to calling, I just felt symptoms of intense anxiety; tingling skin, a heavy stomach, a tight throat, lots of sweating, intense breathing, you know the stuff. I eventually managed to do it, and at first I was bearly able to talk, but I rose to the task, and after I got one call out of the way, it was easy for me to take care of the other two.
I really don't know what I was so afraid of. I know that I didn't want to call a wrong number, that I didn't want to get a dead response, that I didn't want to seem like I had no idea what I was talking about. But then why was I so afraid of those things? What is it about those it about those things that could possibly justify so much anxiety?
For some reason the phone is just one of those things I really hate. But there are other things that make me that anxious, most of them involve addressing some intent of mine with another person.
Anyhow, it's clearly irrational and counter-productive. For some reason today I just realized how genuinely crazy this would seem to an outside observer.
I had to call some apartment owners about seeing a place. I should have called much sooner, but I kept putting it off. Due to time pressure from someone else, I finally called today, but not before hours of doing nothing. I took the phone into my room, and then occasionally picked it up and put it down, re-checked my information, and stalked about the room, literally for hours. When I got close to calling, I just felt symptoms of intense anxiety; tingling skin, a heavy stomach, a tight throat, lots of sweating, intense breathing, you know the stuff. I eventually managed to do it, and at first I was bearly able to talk, but I rose to the task, and after I got one call out of the way, it was easy for me to take care of the other two.
I really don't know what I was so afraid of. I know that I didn't want to call a wrong number, that I didn't want to get a dead response, that I didn't want to seem like I had no idea what I was talking about. But then why was I so afraid of those things? What is it about those it about those things that could possibly justify so much anxiety?
For some reason the phone is just one of those things I really hate. But there are other things that make me that anxious, most of them involve addressing some intent of mine with another person.
Anyhow, it's clearly irrational and counter-productive. For some reason today I just realized how genuinely crazy this would seem to an outside observer.