Do you ever Want to befriend someone, if so, do you ever put in the effort to hang out with them more often or find time to spend with them? Do you often try to invite them out or wait for the other person to ask instead?
Yes, when I decide that I want to befriend someone.. I start to take the initiative as in being the first to approach and talk to them every chance I get. That is not my usual behavior as I am very passive/shy but if I really see the potential for a good friendship, I push myself to get to know them. With someone who seems more introverted than myself, I start to take on the extroverted role to keep the conversation going and being friendly. (so people tend to think I'm an extrovert at first - but in reality, I'm only talkative to people I feel comfortable with and Want to get to know more)
I do not invite people out often since I am very careful about being bothersome and an annoyance and I don't like putting people in a position to decline (it may make them feel bad and me too). However if I sense the person is hinting to me or gives me a vibe that they want to be in my company more than I may be more willing to ask if they want to go out and do something together. But I think I usually wait until they ask me first.
Are you usually kind and say things out of politeness instead of what you really think? (like compliments and such)
I am usually Always nice and friendly. I do tend to compliment my friends often, so sometimes I think they may not take me seriously and that would be sad.. But I DO mean what I say. Because if I didn't I wouldn't have complimented in the first place but kept quiet about it. I just like to make my friends feel good, so when I'm thinking good things about them I often just say it out loud.
If someone were annoying you, would you ever confront them about it? What would you do if you didn't like someone's company and yet they kept trying to talk to you?
Honestly, I don't think I'd ever confront them about it.. I don't like making others feel bad if it's not necessary. I would just try to avoid them and not talk as much, hoping they would get the hint. I would talk very little and give one word answers. But in general, avoiiiiddd -hides- they eventually get it so I've never had to resort to the aggressive route.
Do you share personal thoughts often? Would you feel threatened/annoyed if it seemed like someone kept asking about your personal life?
Sometimes, it depends if I'm comfortable with that certain friend. I'm somewhat selective of what I share though as it depends on the person I'm with. If I don't think they would take my ideas positively then I might be hesitant and change the subject or say 'I don't know'. With someone I feel like I can really trust and won't judge me negatively if I share, I'd be Very open.
Actually, if I Wanted to get closer to that friend, I would be happy if they asked me personal questions because it shows me that they want to know more about me. So I'm happy when friends genuinely ask me about myself, if I like them, I will share what's going on in my life and such. I'd only get annoyed if they stumbled on a sensitive topic and kept trying to pry when I didn't share much about it in the first place. I usually give one word or vague answers and change the subject right away if I'm feeling uncomfortable about certain topics.
But I do notice that I tend not to share personal information about my life much (I'm also very private).. even though I can be very open about my thoughts on ideas instead. I'm more interested in knowing more about other people than sharing about myself. I like to share about myself on my own terms instead of feeling like I'm being interrogated or interviewed. But I will try to answer if a friend really cared to know.
Do you trust your friends easily, how do they gain your trust?
I've been told by certain friends that.. I trust too easily. I think maybe I do. I'm not sure how to explain but... sometimes I can just Tell if someone is a good person or not by the vibe they give off around me (sensing their genuineness and such). Plus from my constant observing, I kinda just know if I'll be safe with them or not even if I've known them for a short while. So I don't really have a set time on how long it takes for me to trust someone. Within a month or so I think I could feel close to someone if I sensed they were a really good friend somehow and I'd trust them with certain things that I know they could handle. -shrugs- Kinda weird that I trust people easily but it takes longer for me to really view someone as a 'close friend'. I view most as just friends/acquaintances that I enjoy.
To gain my trust.. you just have to be genuine and a good person.
How long does it take for you to open up and feel comfortable around a friend? What kinds of people do you open up to easier or gravitate towards?
Depends on each person. I find extroverts to be easiest to open up to though because they tend to verbalize more of their thoughts and such so I have a better understanding of where I stand with them and how they view me in a short time. Introverts take a bit of warming up and time at first but when they start opening up to me and talk more, it makes me feel more comfortable too.
I find that I gravitate towards people I view as accepting, genuine, nice, friendly and warm. People who seem opposite like domineering, unfriendly, arrogant, forceful, mean and cold are intimidating to me.
What do you enjoy most about your friends? What kind of qualities do you like in your friendship?
What I enjoy: Sharing deep, personal thoughts. Able to be random and talk about anything. Laughter! Support, helping you feel like you're not alone and doing the same for them. Having fun.
Qualities I like: Friendliness, Openness, Caring&Kind Nature, Accepting, tend to not be judgmental, Able to share feelings, Helpful, Humor(I love laughing!). Anyone with those qualities, I would like to be friends with.
What qualities do you Not like in your friendships? Any deal-breakers?
Being mean for no good reason, Selfishness, Liars, Hypocrisy, breaking the laws and such, breaking promises, manipulation, never having thoughts about anything(boring)
deal-breakers: maybe if they constantly treat me bad or talk down on me... If I felt they were too much of a negative influence on me. Revealing very personal secrets.
How do you usually act when you're having a good time? How do you usually act when you're having a bad time?
If I'm having a good time, it's easy to tell because I completely light up, act all cheery & bouncy. I will start to joke and laugh a lot and always smiling. I will talk a lot.
If I'm having a bad time, I may look bored, not talk much and fidget a lot out of nervousness, stare off into the distance instead of focusing on the event/person.
If your friends had a totally different view on something that you believed to be important and right, would you think of them differently?
I love different viewpoints. I actually like you more if you have your own ideas and can support them well. I'd respect a friend if we agreed to disagree and still be okay with it. That's what makes it interesting!
The only thing that would change is that I might not talk about certain things with that friend anymore because they might not like what I have to say since I already know what they don't agree with. I don't really like making the atmosphere hostile.
Do you ever feel like you have certain obligations to your friends and try to fulfill them? Or do you usually do it because you want to?
Sometimes I do things out of obligation.. like I went to a friends birthday party even though I worried about what to expect socially. I forced myself because I Wanted to be a good friend. But in a way I still did it because I wanted to be a good friend... so I usually, if I like you enough, I do things because I want to.
In turn, do you usually have any expectations of your friends? What if they don't fulfill them?
Not really.. I try to accept people as they are. I know if I expect things out of friends all the time, I will end up disappointed. The only thing is what I said above (I may start to dislike a friend if they suddenly did things I did not think well of like.. hurting people, lying all the time, etc.) then I may drop the friendship because it's negative.
What do friends do/say that make you feel closer to them?
Genuinely give me compliments, doing thoughtful things like gifts even if I don't ask for it, remembering details about me or things I've shared, sharing/discussing deep and personal stuff, helping me when I need it, spending time alone with me and still able to have a good time, accept me.
crud that was long..
hope that helps though!