Not much Fe I see coming in and out of our Athenian, from what she herself says
Well, then what do I seem to be using? I don't think I could be using just Ti, that's probably too weak to work on it's own.
If you want an analysis of your functions, here it is. Hope you don't mind if it's a little harsh. I'm not trying to put you down; rather, I'm trying to highlight how the functions work, which means putting things under a microscope and treating them a bit simplistically for illustration purposes.
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In INFJs, Dominant Ni is used to recognize and manipulate patterns. In this context, INFJs take in facts about the world then try to piece them together like a jigsaw puzzle and create an interconnected network of thoughts. In INFJs, the network of thoughts commonly contains rules, values, and experiences for how the world works.
In the meantime, Auxiliary Fe is the bridge between the inner network of thoughts and the outer world. It can work two ways: 1) Stunted use of Fe, or 2) Mature use of Fe.
1) Stunted use of Fe:
INFJs exert a great deal of effort to construct and maintain their inner network (Ni). Everything in the Ni network is interconnected like a spider web, and discordant ideas from the outer world jar the network and make all the elements jangle uncomfortably. IOW, ideas from the outer world can be painful. Since the INFJ has invested so much effort in the inner network, they often use their Auxiliary Fe as a guard
against invasive thoughts that might jar and jangle the inner network. Fe is a judging function. So when an idea from the outer world doesn't fit easily into the network, Fe judges such ideas as "disgusting" or "wrong" or "evil." Only ideas that fit easily into the inner network (i.e., ideas that fit preconceptions) are allowed in and judged positively.
In this stunted use of Fe, the INFJ is heavily invested in his/her preconceptions of how the world should work, and Auxiliary Fe quickly judges anything that doesn't match those preconceptions as "wrong" and dismisses them instantly.
2) Mature use of Fe:
Mature INFJs recognize that the world is a complex place and that there is always more to learn. So they direct their Fe outward and use it to learn as much as possible about the world. If an idea strikes them as "wrong" or "disgusting," especially when that idea is espoused by someone they otherwise respect, they take that as a signal that their inner network may need to be adjusted. They realize that their preconceptions of the world may be inaccurate; there is always more to be learned, and preconceptions need to be challenged. So they use their Fe to study controversial subject and force-feed their inner network with new ideas, even when the process is painful.
In this mature use of Fe, the INFJ uses Fe as a "check" on their inner network. They realize that their inner network isn't much good if it's out of line with the real world, and so the ideas collected by their Fe become a way to constantly test and upgrade their inner network and keep it current with the real world.
Summary:
Stunted use of Fe: The INFJ puts total faith in their inner network and uses Fe to judge and reject anything from the outer world that doesn't easily and instantly mesh with the inner network.
Mature use of Fe: The INFJ knows that their inner network is incomplete and faulty at any given time (after all, who can say they know everything about the world?), so they use Fe to constantly test and upgrade the inner network by force-feeding their inner network with new values and new ideas.
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Athenian:
You sound like you are using Fe in a stunted manner. You have carefully built up an inner network of thoughts and values about how the outer world should work. But your inner picture of the world is simplistic and apocalyptic in nature. According to you, when people aren't liked, they get lynched. And I remember your picture of what would happen to the world during the next recession; you surmised that the world would effectively regress to the stone age. Like I said: simplistic and apocalyptic.
Athenian, by your own admission you have little or no understanding of how the world really works. Occasionally you manage to integrate some new system, like the message board rules, but then any little divergence from those rules sends you into a tizzy. You get invested in your inner network (your inner picture of how the world around you should work), but time and time again your inner picture is proven wrong by new information; and you're so invested in your inner picture that instead of integrating the new information, you reject the information and get upset.
You want the world to work according to a predictable set of rules? Fine. It
does work according to rules. But the rules are much more complex than the simplistic picture in your head. The rules are based on psychology, relativity, and consensus.
You need to quit using your Fe to protect your inner notions. The world is what it is. If you ever want to understand the world, you need to turn your Fe outward and start paying attention to how the world actually works (instead of imagining that you know how it should work and then getting upset and bent out of shape when you're proved wrong for the umpteenth time). You need to use your Fe to study the real world outside your head; you need to force-feed your Ni no matter how uncomfortable that process feels, and update your inner vision of the world until it matches the outside world.
FWIW, Fe is a great tool for understanding the world. But overcoming the preconceptions of your Ni is an uncomfortable process, so it's more tempting to use Fe in a stunted capacity to keep the world at bay. Which is what you're doing. You're judging things negatively so that you won't have to consider them and possibly have to integrate them into your inner network.
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By the way, this is a lifelong fight for INFJs. I know a highly-accomplished INFJ who is a high-level boss in a federal agency. He is brilliant and highly successful at what he does. He deals with the real world constantly, and he has no problem integrating new information about the world into his inner network or inner vision of how the world works.
Nonetheless, I've seen him get hung up and intolerant in debates about core values like the death penalty. He just can't get it into his head that reasonable people can disagree about something like the death penalty. So when someone he respects disagrees with him about that topic, he gets overbearing and pushy, and then finally quite angry. It's surprising to see someone as open-minded and intelligent as him become childish and petulant about a common controversial topic.
Again, the key is Fe. My INFJ acquaintance normally keeps his Fe directed outward. But when it comes to a few core values, he goes back to using stunted Fe and rejects any view that doesn't match his own opinion. He has devoted a lot of thought to his core values, and he falls into the bad habit of using Fe to protect his inner thoughts on those core values.
Instead, even when it comes to his core values he should be directing his Fe outward and try to understand how and why reasonable people can disagree on common controversial subjects like the death penalty. Other people have devoted a lot of thought to the subject too, and he could learn from them and perhaps modify his own opinions so that they're more representative of the real world rather than trying to insist that only one view (his) can be legitimate.
The world is what it is. INFJs have two choices: They can use stunted Fe and reject the real world and live in a fantasy world of their own making (and become further and further detached from reality), or they can use mature Fe and learn about the real world so they can deal with it competently.
In short: Fe is a judging function. In stunted use of Fe, you're using Fe to judge the world and decide what you'll allow into your inner world (i.e. only those things that fit your preconceptions). But in mature use of Fe, you should use Fe to evaluate and judge your
inner world and see if it is adequately reflecting the outer world. If it isn't, then you should use Fe in non-judging capacity (or use some other non-judging function) to force-feed your inner world and update it properly so that it can deal with the outer world in an adult fashion.
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By the way, the same rules apply to all Introverts. All Introverts tend to trust the signals from their Dominant function and tend to find input from their Auxiliary to be painful or disconcerting. So they get in the habit of using their Auxiliary in stunted fashion, i.e. as a way of screening out the world to protect their Dominant from disconcerting or discordant ideas. But if they want to use their functions in a mature manner, they should be using their Auxiliary to investigate the world and to serve as a "check" on their Dominant, i.e. as a way to keep their Dominant under control and in touch with reality.
(Extroverts tend to have the opposite problem. Their Dominant function is often excessively ruled by the world and/or values espoused by the world. For purposes of balance, they need to develop their internal Auxiliary as an anchor and a means of self-definition, i.e. they need to use their Auxiliary to define personal values to guide them and keep them on a steady course when external circumstances go through changes, or are unreliable, or become constricted and stifling.)