After seeing her live I am even more convinced that she's a Sexual 9. Her show is like an intimate group experience, it's highly interactive and mergey, she WANTS the fans to sing with her, she makes intense eye contact, hugs and kisses people and walks down into the audience repeatedly. It put me in mind a little of the Grateful Dead or something, almost bordering on the cult-y but in a very life affirming love vibe way. Her holy idea is clearly love and she gives the intimate feel of a Sexual type, it would serve to explain the feelings that fans get, almost a personal relationship to her, and she gets off on it, she tells her fans she loves them too and she knows they're on her level. But she has that kind of subdued passive 9 quality in her body language, even though she is emitting this intense Sexual energy. I mean Sexual in the truly sexual but also in the sense of psychological merging.
Also I think the way her performance bores people who are not fans is also pretty indicative of her being a 9. I was close to a 9 who called himself boring, almost like 9s are filled by an impersonal oneness with others, and if you don't happen to merge with them as an individual, they can seem boring on the surface, like a vase waiting to be filled when they are "empty."She is also surprisingly tolerant and welcoming of the intensity and borderline aggression of some of her fans, and 9s do tend to get offer a kind of tolerant or soft place for pushier people. She claimed in more than one interview to be attracted to dominant people and to like a feeling of love that borders on the aggressive.
I think she's a very evolved 9, though she is not at the highest level like a spiritual leader, she's healthy to mid range. I think she was less healthy or less evolved when she was younger which is why she had such a hard time on stage earlier on, it was that meekness or passivity in her stage presence if you didn't appreciate what she was sending out on another level. You also mentioned the lack of anger in her songs even about bad relationships, and 9s tend to deny anger or implode.
I don't think the feelings of intimacy and oneness she creates in her music and at her shows would be possible if she weren't a SX dom, it also explains how she manages to polarize people while appearing relatively passive, accepting and forgiving as a 9. She is apparently an obsessive person and enjoys or tolerates or even silently enables obsession with her. Apparently she got a restraining order on one fan, but only because he became violent towards other fans at a show.
I have seen how people react to me sometimes online as a fan, and trust me I am extremely tame compared to gay sixteen year old boys, the zealots in her fan group actually has caused me to wonder about her own past in a cult, and techniques she may have subconsciously picked up there. I also understand why some people say she is INFJ because of her messianic quality. But she embraces Se she doesn't reject it, I still think ISFP.