I'm not. I apologize if that wasn't clear, but that's what I meant by bringing up external standards, that they're not of much concern because they're not particularly accurate. The individual is the only one who can accurately define themselves, unless there's something blocking them from seeing that truth.
...Just out of curiosity, what kind of vampire are you speaking of, the mythical sort of blood sucker or something less fantastical/grotesque (feeds off others' energy)?
I saw myself as a person who lived to gain from life and gave nothing in return. It's an avaricious construct, the vampire - I accepted my darkness and owned it like a nihilist.
That sounds more or less like my definition of core, as well.
How so? Explain your concept.
And I do genuinely try to question why I do things instead of just the plain 'what' I do. Questioning comes naturally to me, introspection being no exception. But how do you feel about people who have multiple possibly Enneagram-related motivations for doing things? Then how do you know what really is the 'core'? I'm interested in seeing how you feel about that.
Enneagram is basically trauma response. It's generated by a childhood that was injurious to your development in some way (nobody has a perfect childhood) and ends up keeping you stuck in a pattern that can seem like you haven't completed some stage of childhood to your personal satisfaction. For instance, type 5 compulsively seeks understanding - in some sense you can say that type 5 hasn't completed the childhood stage of understanding the world to a good enough extent that they feel capable of operating in it to their satisfaction. 5 grows up by growing into action from understanding. So this adds some clout to the idea that in order to really ascertain your enneagram type so that it's clear to you what you are, you might need to go through the process of maturing into young adulthood.
So, to define a life in Enneagram terms, you need to see what the predominant dynamic is over a longer period of time. Discounting anything that amounts to personality-altering physical brain damage, especially later in life, each type will seem (from within and without), act and think differently when they are traumatized, get stuck in ruts, are doing OK, and are doing great. Each type will also define these states around different priorities, not just depending on type but also instinctual stacking and relevant specifics in context. I'd say if you're actually untypable, it's because you haven't been acquainted with enough of your life to tell what type fits your pattern - certain conflicts in life will come later than others - and having an emotional trauma in your background will also help you clarify your type in the long run since it brings the disintegration pattern out in force, forces significant introspection and engages your self-definition against adversity.
Anyway, when you're engaging in introspection toward determining your type: in some sense Enneagram
is behavioral. It has to do with not just
what you hold of import, but also
how and
why and then perhaps
how much, so to dismiss the component that dictates how you act, like I was prone to doing when I was growing up (I dismissed the very idea of defining myself by action, appearance and so forth), is no more wise than dismissing the internal. Whichever starting point you take, you need to progress to its antithesis..which is the entire point of studying Enneagram, getting back in touch with the parts of yourself that you less consciously dismissed in youth.