I have thought about that. The difficulty comes when I try to determine which is a conditioned trait and which is an inherent trait. For example, I consider other peoples' feelings. I do not value my own feelings much, and I wouldn't value others' either except that I want caring in return. I am aware that this is a strategy, but I do truly care as well. It's a dual purposed action.
It can be difficult to sort out "inherent" vs. "conditioned," and some of the debates on this site revolve around disagreements in that area when it comes to type reading.
I think it comes down to bottom-line response.
For a personal example: I used to exude a lot of consideration for people's feelings -- so much that I always avoided offending anyone, saying anything that could be misconstrued, I was extremely careful and diplomatic in my approach, I always did the "right thing" and never hurt anyone's feelings.
Most people thought that was wonderful, but inside it was really horrible. I did it partly because I did care about people's feelings and wanted to be kind and fair to them, but partly to avoid being rejected by them -- I needed to control their responses at all costs. So I wouldn't say things even if I felt strongly about it, and then I would feel like my life was a big compromise: I couldn't bring myself to hurt anyone, or to push on anyone, but also felt very dead and smothered.
(I also got a lot of people arguing about my Ti/Fi functions too.)
The "me" that people see now is more the inner me, what I think and feel as I go through life. I'll still try to be diplomatic and kind, but it's less about managing reactions now -- it's not really a preservation strategy anymore. My more "innate" nature is more detached than I had seemed in the past, and much more a mix of sensitive and impersonal. I can't really describe it well, but the more F face was just a face I used to avoid rejection -- despite the fact that I really do care about people, want to see them included and treated fairly, and feel bad and can empathize with them when they hurt.
I see that. If I use P traits to cope so easily, why do P traits bother me in other people so much? I don't mean adaptability and go-with-the-flow attitudes; it's more the leave your options open, noncomittal attitudes that get to me.
I don't know. Everyone's different.
Some people like closure. Some people hate it. (and by that, I mean J's experience anxiety when there is no apparent closure, P's experience anxiety when there is premature closure.)
That tends to be the definition of J/P relations, true.