Hey all. I somehow end up dating SFs quite a bit and a recent problem with one xSFP got me thinking. This last one I think thinks im clingy. She was having a tough time with life and I was trying to be there for her and help her out. Looking back I can see how it would come off as "clingy" or "needy" and im actually kind of angry about it because thats just not me. Any way to turn this type of interaction around? When a female sees a guy in a certain way is there a way to undo that?
I really really understand your anger. Perfectly.
I had a very similar situation with an SFJ recently.
Here is what I am doing about it. First, I told the person, because
there is not a lot of time in this friendship yet.....so I was upfront and
made it clear what my reasons were for the emotional giving I felt
that I was doing.
And now I am making space and keeping a small wall in place.
(OK so I'm INFJ, what can I say?)
And after that I am just being comfortable in the knowledge that
I am, generally, a quite well-liked and compassionate person and
most everyone else in my life appreciates me and enjoys me.
There are really just two possibilities here. One - the friendship
will last and the other person will eventually realize what you and
I already know about ourselves - that we are not needy.
Two - the friendship will not last and who cares what they think,
in that case anyway?
But I think you should give it another try if the other person is willing
and see what happens...
And keep in touch if you like.