Well, there is this...uh...friend of mine. He insists that he's an ISTJ, but I think that he's more of an ISTP. To break the deadlock, I'll ask you guys your opinions. He's not such a big fan of online tests; besides, I hardly ever get him to do what I want him to when I ask. I'll give you a few examples:
- He's a generous, giving person, but unscrupulous people will exploit this
- He has a lot of self-confidence
- He lives for the moment
- He can be insensitive, yet he seems to dislike conflict
- He will listen to your opinion and constructive criticism, but he often refuses to apply it in favour of his own (sometimes erroneous) judgements
- He's impulsive
- He's VERY poor with money
- He's a rational person, but gets emotional when upset
- He can be controlling at times
- He tends to delay things
- He can back up his actions with words, but he doesn't do this consistently
- He likes company when he goes driving or on his various voyages
- He's a competent office manager
- He rarely looks back upon the past and never thinks about the future
- He sees the good in people
- He is a person of morality - but he puts too much faith in other people's ethical standards
- He tends to show his love to his children by doing things for them, rather than through expression
- He can be judgemental of others
- He often strikes me as a laid-back person
- Does things without really expecting much in return
- He rarely asks others for help
- He's very good with his hands
- He strikes me as being a practical person, having known him for a long time
- Enjoys alcohol
You have partially described my ISTP brother/father.
- Does your friend not only get emotional when upset but it verges on irrational, almost hysterical and aggressive?
- Is he often late, and procrastinates on projects but refuses to relinquish control of them? (Say by paying an outside vendor to finish the job.)
- Is he a connoisseur of pleasures - drink, sensation, etc? Does he seem to take personally a refusal to partake of his vices?
- Does he actively, and contemptuously, flout authority?
- Does he love to drive, and drive fast? Does he wear those silly leather racing gloves?
- Does he resist any attempts to control his behavior.
- Does he use lying almost as an expedient communication tool?
- Do you often feel he is withholding information?
- Does he only comply with treatment, advice, etc. after there has been a clear order to do so, with harsh consequences if he fails to do so? Does he do so grudgingly, with much complaining?
- Has he been known to cheat in relationships, and then blame his partner for "driving him to it"?
- Is he uncomfortable with emotions, and emotional displays to the point of seeming insensitive or even cruel. If a woman is crying, does he handle it by saying "stop crying" rather than attempting to comfort her?
- Does he play sports, but takes it way too seriously?
- Is he egalitarian, live-and-let-live?
- Does he present as the "strong, silent type" ala Dirty Harry?
- Does he prefer casual and sometimes sloppy to tucked in and dressed up?
I'm aware that bias might be in my clues... but that is my experience. To possibly contrast with ISTJ, I have another brother who is this type. My brothers are very different, excepting their mutual love of beer and of staring at American football on TV for hours on end.
Hints someone might be ISTJ:
- They are *Good* with money, have been all their lives. May even work in a financial field.
- Likes to collect things; has a stamp collection or similar.
- Obsessively neat. Somewhat of a control freak about it. (My brother's wife calls him "the male Martha Stewart."
- Very rigid in general outlook; can make one feel inadequate or not quite good enough in their presence.
- Quick wit, sharp-edged sense of humor.
- Acquisitive, and very tight with the purse-strings.
- Likes Tradition. May return to a structured religious practice even after a brief sabbatical, say as a rebellious college student.
- Uber-responsible, care-taking (in concrete ways).
- Values stability, home and hearth, family values, etc.
The areas of conflict I've witnessed between the ISTP and ISTJ - this might help distinguish them further - is when the ISTJ perceives the ISTP as reckless, chaotic, and almost anarchistic. If this threatens the ISTJ's sense of order and especially his family domain, he has been quite harsh in setting limits. The ISTP, for his part, takes this surprisingly in stride, is not offended, and goes on his merry way.
That's all I have.