seamaid
New member
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2008
- Messages
- 152
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
Well, the deal is there is an insane lack of "impulse control." They're Se dominant, driven by internal values and feelings; ESTPs can be self-indulgent as well (the other Se-dominant type), but the impersonal T helps them better self-evalute, I think, and conform themselves into some sort of external rational structure even if it's pragmatic in nature.
I had one very close ESFP friend who I'm no longer friends with, by her own choice. She was in a structured society that kept her channeled within particular behavior for much of her life, then basically made a series of bad decisions on emotional impulse without caring about the long-term picture of her choices, and she dumped all of her friends one by one as we told her that we were concerned. ESFP can be remarkable short-term unless they have a very specific goal of some sort to guide them.
EPs also seem to have a remarkably hard time not talking, especially if they've got something burning to say. (IPs have a much easier time of it.)
I'm just saying that in this situation with the gossip -- I don't want to make excuses for a type, but I think it's a pervasive typical pattern for ESFP to have issues with keeping mum, especially if they are emotionally motivated.
That was like my friend too. She wasn't great at thinking through things then either, but she was a very fun, exuberant, happy person who made others happy. Once she drifted off course, everything got very ugly. It's been years now, I rarely see her, and I don't like her when I see her because she's become a negative and critical person.... who gossips incessantly.
I'm curious to know: what triggered your ESFP friend to "drift off"? And how does she manifest her negativity, criticism and gossiping? Is it extremely obvious, or subtle and back-handed?