That echoes with me. I know that I'm generally liked, but I feel like it's mostly a passive sort of thing, eg they like me only because I haven't annoyed them. But outside of my friends, I don't feel like they nessecarily regard me as one of their favourite people, or even as a person they might otherwise consider spending time with / inviting somewhere, etc. So I suppose that is probably a respect issue. Even at work, I wonder sometimes why other people who started the same time as me are given more responsibility/taught more about the business (I've only really worked in retail/shop assistant sort of thing so far, so it's in that sort of capacity). And yes, if I objectively look at it, the others are more responsible and motivated than I am, so it's only fair, but still, it'd be nice to be valued.
Good input.
FWIW, there are ways to address this. The information on ENFPs at Personalitypage.com discusses ways that ENFPs can develop their auxiliary function (Fi) in order to become more discriminating and "cut to the chase" quicker.
http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP_per.html
Just to follow up on what I was saying about my boss:
My ENFP boss has had all the requisite leadership training and is aware that there are plenty of tools at his disposal for being a more effective boss. He could depend more on policy, procedure, and institutional memory to deal with routine matters rather than reinventing the wheel and trying a playful new approach each time to make old problems fresh and fun again. He could delegate more and put other people in charge of issues or scenarios that are problematic for him for various reasons. He could swallow his ego a bit, quit being such a one-man show, and build a formal support team that will take the lead when breaking ground on a new issue, meanwhile keeping himself out of the fray until it's time to make the important judgment calls. (As opposed to the example of my boss keeping me and his deputy at arm's length and putting us in the rather awkward position of publicly coming to his rescue as he's going down for the third time.)
ENFPs seem to want treat each new problem as a crime scene, rope it off and isolate it from outside interference, then play about with all the "clues" or variables, and tease out a solution based on their quick wits, innovativeness, and sensitivity to fine details. But in a workplace setting that kind of playful, innovative thinking can drive everyone nuts. Most problems are routine and just need someone to sign off and take responsibility for a routine solution. If the boss gets innovative and starts turning everything on its head and experimenting with the variables and sending subordinates on wild goose chases "just to see what will happen," he's going to have a mutiny on his hands pretty quick.
My ENFP boss knows all this, and on most days he keeps his Ne in check, stays focused, cuts to the chase, and keeps the work flowing properly. But some days he's tired or stressed or whatever, he falls back into old habits, gets sidetracked, and starts playing around with tangents and insignificant problems while everyone's on hold and waiting for him to deal with an important issue. That's when it becomes necessary to keep interrupting him and steer his focus back to the heart of the matter.
I think it's mostly ego on my boss's part. He has always earned lots of respect and plaudits for his powerful Ne, so he likes to put it on display. But being in a senior management position is new to him, he doesn't know how to pace himself, and he burns out. Mainly he just needs to develop some self-discipline, pace himself better, and put more trust in the traditional leadership techniques to carry more of the burden.
Maybe we feel like our best traits (whatever we feel they are) are not really seen and appreciated by the world at large? And the things people generally like us for are things are either we don't see as particularly good or strong traits in ourselves (like our ability to adapt to every situation and be totally dependant on pleasing other people seems to be a love-hate thing with ourselves) or things we take for granted, and thus aren't sure why people like us? And consequently are insecure that they do.
I think that all types can be in this situation. We all have strengths and can be the hero in the right setting. But in the wrong setting our strengths may be squandered; our strengths may come across as sterile or even counterproductive.
ENFPs have a playful, holistic approach to problem-solving. ENFPs can really shine when a situation is novel, touchy, and involves a lot of sensitive variables. But if a problem is routine or requires a critical rather than holistic approach, then the ENFP's talents may be wasted. The ENFP may have nothing more to contribute than mere playfulness. And even if that's welcomed by the others around them, it's not really what the ENFP wants to be valued for.
Similarly, INFPs have a talent for reconciliation and harmonizing. In a team-building environment, for example, INFPs can serve as the glue keeping the team together under stress and bring out the best in all the team members. But once routine sets in or a more critical approach is required, the INFP may have nothing more to contribute than mere sappiness and feel-good gestures. And even if that's welcomed by the others around them, it's not really what the INFP wants to be valued for.
And so on for the rest of the personality types.
The answer is that everyone needs to develop their auxiliary and other functions, and gain some confidence operating outside their comfort zone. (See the link to Personalitypage.com, above). We can't just sit around waiting for fate to drop a situation into our lap that will highlight our strengths and allow us to play the hero. Better to look at the environment we're in and develop the particular strengths we need in order to operate more effectively in that environment.
Also, a lot of honor and respect is accorded to people who are willing to tackle new skills and practice them until proficient at them. It's the well-rounded practical leader who gets ahead these days, not the narrowly-focused technician who is excellent only in certain environments.