Mal12345
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2011
- Messages
- 14,532
- MBTI Type
- IxTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
There is nothing like a little drama, or even a lot of drama if that's what it takes, to serve the ESFJ's concrete goals. Indirect manipulation is a means of direct control when seen in terms of social strategy.
Reverse psychology. If an ESFJ tells you to do one thing, and you do just the opposite, then that may just satisfy the ESFJs immediate concrete goal. It's all part of the drama of being human in a social environment involving emotions and desires that come and go. If an ESFJ suddenly decides to take care of your needs, when they never seemed to care before, then you know something must be going on behind the scenes, either emotionally or socially.
An ESFJ has to have complete control over every social situation they are involved in, or else all hell will break loose. If you don't seem to feel right to them, according to the ESFJs notion of rightness, then you will be corrected, and that often involves some form of punitive action.
Contrary to what Jung said about the Fe dominant type, the ESFJ is an aggressive personality type. Obedience to social authority is not the end, it is a means to another end, as is disobedience to authority. An ESFJ who is not in a position of authority knows how to manipulate authority to get their own needs met. For example, an ESFJ student dislikes the school he is in. So he will break rules and get bad grades, eventually being kicked out and hopefully end up in the more desirable school. The long-term consequences don't matter to him. Who gives a sh*t about one's "permanent record"? The immediate goal is what counts.
Lying. There is nothing wrong with it if it leads to the greater good, right? Depending on the ESFJ's character, that greater good may be socially valuable or selfishly valuable. So that may or may not be a greater good in terms of social values, just "greater" in the ESFJ's own eyes. An example of a socially valuable method is the book "Go Ask Alice," originally presented as the actual diary of a teenage girl, and claimed by the publisher to be based on a real diary. In fact, the book is a work of complete fiction. But the author's purpose was to prevent teenage girls from disobeying their parents by showing them the consequences of disobedience. That's an example of the social ends justifying the means. The author went on to publish other fictional "real diaries" designed to promote social values. But the ESFJ type will also not hesitate to lie with regard to achieving selfish ends. Depending on maturity level, the ESFJ may only pretend to have a greater good in view, or it may be an actual greater good.
Anger. The ESFJ is never responsible for their own anger, it was someone else, or something else, that caused it. The purpose of the anger is to change the social environment so that the ESFJ can return to a state of placid calmness. The ESFJ desires peace but nevertheless seems to attract social chaos that needs to be brought under control. When things don't go their way, all hell breaks loose either through direct anger or subtle manipulation which, when that fails, leads to direct anger. Although desiring peace and calm, the ESFJ will sometimes evoke chaos just to give them something to bring under control.
Revenge. The ESFJ, despite the (implied) selfishness and aggressive undercurrents, has strong feelings of duty and values their friendships strongly. If you fly in the face of their values and loyalties, you will not likely enjoy the result of your malfeasance.
Social Purpose. The ESFJ thrives best on having a purpose in the social realm. The ESFJ could find a purpose in being the high school class president, or as a grandparent the purpose might be helping to raise the grandchildren by trying to make up for the (perceived) mistakes of the parents. An ESFJ without purpose will sink into a self- and other-destructive depression.
Reverse psychology. If an ESFJ tells you to do one thing, and you do just the opposite, then that may just satisfy the ESFJs immediate concrete goal. It's all part of the drama of being human in a social environment involving emotions and desires that come and go. If an ESFJ suddenly decides to take care of your needs, when they never seemed to care before, then you know something must be going on behind the scenes, either emotionally or socially.
An ESFJ has to have complete control over every social situation they are involved in, or else all hell will break loose. If you don't seem to feel right to them, according to the ESFJs notion of rightness, then you will be corrected, and that often involves some form of punitive action.
Contrary to what Jung said about the Fe dominant type, the ESFJ is an aggressive personality type. Obedience to social authority is not the end, it is a means to another end, as is disobedience to authority. An ESFJ who is not in a position of authority knows how to manipulate authority to get their own needs met. For example, an ESFJ student dislikes the school he is in. So he will break rules and get bad grades, eventually being kicked out and hopefully end up in the more desirable school. The long-term consequences don't matter to him. Who gives a sh*t about one's "permanent record"? The immediate goal is what counts.
Lying. There is nothing wrong with it if it leads to the greater good, right? Depending on the ESFJ's character, that greater good may be socially valuable or selfishly valuable. So that may or may not be a greater good in terms of social values, just "greater" in the ESFJ's own eyes. An example of a socially valuable method is the book "Go Ask Alice," originally presented as the actual diary of a teenage girl, and claimed by the publisher to be based on a real diary. In fact, the book is a work of complete fiction. But the author's purpose was to prevent teenage girls from disobeying their parents by showing them the consequences of disobedience. That's an example of the social ends justifying the means. The author went on to publish other fictional "real diaries" designed to promote social values. But the ESFJ type will also not hesitate to lie with regard to achieving selfish ends. Depending on maturity level, the ESFJ may only pretend to have a greater good in view, or it may be an actual greater good.
Anger. The ESFJ is never responsible for their own anger, it was someone else, or something else, that caused it. The purpose of the anger is to change the social environment so that the ESFJ can return to a state of placid calmness. The ESFJ desires peace but nevertheless seems to attract social chaos that needs to be brought under control. When things don't go their way, all hell breaks loose either through direct anger or subtle manipulation which, when that fails, leads to direct anger. Although desiring peace and calm, the ESFJ will sometimes evoke chaos just to give them something to bring under control.
Revenge. The ESFJ, despite the (implied) selfishness and aggressive undercurrents, has strong feelings of duty and values their friendships strongly. If you fly in the face of their values and loyalties, you will not likely enjoy the result of your malfeasance.
Social Purpose. The ESFJ thrives best on having a purpose in the social realm. The ESFJ could find a purpose in being the high school class president, or as a grandparent the purpose might be helping to raise the grandchildren by trying to make up for the (perceived) mistakes of the parents. An ESFJ without purpose will sink into a self- and other-destructive depression.