Isn't this kind of a contradictory combo?
uh... how so?
Isn't this kind of a contradictory combo?
Introverts recharge by being alone and Sx doms have an intense drive for intimacy. Seems contradictory to me.
[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] , Why does that make you uncomfortable?
But if someone is focused on depth of one on one interaction and intimacy, isn't that normally associated more with Introverts than Extraverts?
They enjoy being intensely involved—even merged—with others, and can become disenchanted with partners who are unable to meet their need for intense energetic union. Losing yourself in a "fusion" of being is the ideal here, and Sexual types are always looking for this state with others and with stimulating objects in their world.
I think it would be helpful to think of introverted sx's as looking at their (current or future) relationship as an intrinsic part of themselves, and thus, while they may still need time alone to recharge, they also really want to spend quality time with their (current or future) significant other. I would also not be surprised if introverted sx's tended to be less on the promiscuous side of the spectrum (since they probably don't feel the need to go out as much), and tended to be more on the one-on-one committed relationship side of things (obligatory note: which, of course, is not at all to say that extroverted sx's are all promiscuous hussies/man whores incapable of being in committed long-term relationships).
I think what would be helpful is to think of the introverted sx's as looking at their (real or potential) relationship as a big part of themselves, and thus, while they may also need alone time to recharge, they also really want to spend quality time with their (current or future) significant other, because their identity is so intrinsically tied to that person.
I would also not be surprised if introverted sx's tend to be less on the promiscuous side of the spectrum (since they probably don't feel the need to go out as much), and are more on the one-on-one committed relationship side of things.
Introverts recharge by being alone and Sx doms have an intense drive for intimacy. Seems contradictory to me.
It is. But the pull toward someone comes from really enjoying that moment and going with it, there is a curiosity to figure that person out. It can be platonic or romantic. Sometimes even a platonic connection sends the wrong signals. Anyway its followed by their reciprocation. This usually pushes me away, sometimes momentarily, but if they come back super strong and super fast it pushes me away for good.
It's important for the other party to play it very cool. I can be the hamster on the wheel but they should be the slow drip water feeder. Lol!
A need for intimacy is very personal, and personal matters are emotional and quite subjective. Since they are subjective, they may easily occupy the mind of an introvert.
If an extravert comfortably fits in a social setting or a setting of intimacy, that extravert wouldn't necessarily have the compulsion for intimacy since the psychological need has already been fulfilled.
"sx" inherently comes with a sort of dissatisfaction with the intimate life; if one feels that they want intimacy that's already been given, it's a bit like he/she has been disillusioned with the one-on-one relationship. (Sounds very introverted and bottled-up, no?)
This almost makes it sound like Sx = extroversion
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Why would one want intimacy that's already been given?
I also relate sx energy to "flow" of an activity, in addition to an intense connection to another person. You can be passionately involved in painting, playing a sport, horseback riding, working. You are "at one" with what you are doing, you fully immerse yourself. Every move feels so natural, like you were just born to do it. You have so much energy to pour into what you are doing.
I am sp/sx though, so perhaps that isn't even sx, just something everyone does.
If you feel merged tho do you still require very much alone time? I mean the feeling is that you're complete in each others presence right? Alone as a whole?That makes sense. So it's like ... intense intimacy, then alone time, then intense intimacy, then alone time, etc. etc.? Sounds like a hamster running on the wheel, then sleeping in the corner, than awake and back to running on the wheel again, lol
I searched on google and I read these descriptions. Somewhere in there is said all 3 like one-on-one relationships.
http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...-instinctual-variants-sp-sx-so-explained.html