sculpting
New member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2009
- Messages
- 4,148
I LOVE Fe!! (No really, I do actually do adore you guys)
(I am mostly Fe stupid/blind, so I dont understand what exactly you guys need-thus my endless questioning and inquiery. If someone can explain (ie tell me explicitly) what I need to so, then I can pretty easily adapt to other people's needs-otherwise I just stand around slack-jawed and hugglily going "huh?, why did you did you just do that? Hugs?" (Also, just by typing this out it sort of allows me to understand the situation a bit better)
So the question for the day:
Can you give hints to recognize what Fe requests to do things look like? For example I have been working with an ENTP guy and he kept noting that we would need to work together to finish a fairly minor, mundane task. But he didnt say when, where, how or why and didnt note that he had a deadline to meet.
My brain took his "we'll need to work on this at some point" and translated it to "hey some day when you have a few months of free time and you arent doing anything important or even at all, maybe we might want to consider perhaps, thinking about mybe doing this things togeheter, but only if you want to..." and then placed the task at the very bottom of my list of things to do-because it didnt seem pressing or important. I suppose I look for either emotional intensity or very direct intenstity as a marker on communication to indicate importance from others...thus I seem to be miscategorizing the more subtle Fe guiding..?
Given I have very direct requests to "do A, B, C now by X deadline" from my FP and TJ collegues, it was very easy to miss that his less direct "suggestions" were actually a request to complete the task.
Finally he was like "I just finished doing it all". When I thanked him, he was kinda entp sarcastic and have me the alligator eyes and then I felt bad as I realized I had dropped the ball.
Can you guys give guidance on how I can recognize more subtle communication cues? How can I know what you want me to do, if you dont directly tell me what you want me to do?
Normally I think if it isnt stated directly (as in crazy ass direct), my brain just treats it as suggestive, thus dismissable or optional, so it is my own perceptive mode I'd like to modify if possible. Often, after thinking about where situations went wrong for a few days I go "OHHHH, they wanted me to DO something, ah, no wonder that didnt go well, I totally ignored them." But I'd like to be able to pick up on the hints in the moment if possible.
(I am mostly Fe stupid/blind, so I dont understand what exactly you guys need-thus my endless questioning and inquiery. If someone can explain (ie tell me explicitly) what I need to so, then I can pretty easily adapt to other people's needs-otherwise I just stand around slack-jawed and hugglily going "huh?, why did you did you just do that? Hugs?" (Also, just by typing this out it sort of allows me to understand the situation a bit better)
So the question for the day:
Can you give hints to recognize what Fe requests to do things look like? For example I have been working with an ENTP guy and he kept noting that we would need to work together to finish a fairly minor, mundane task. But he didnt say when, where, how or why and didnt note that he had a deadline to meet.
My brain took his "we'll need to work on this at some point" and translated it to "hey some day when you have a few months of free time and you arent doing anything important or even at all, maybe we might want to consider perhaps, thinking about mybe doing this things togeheter, but only if you want to..." and then placed the task at the very bottom of my list of things to do-because it didnt seem pressing or important. I suppose I look for either emotional intensity or very direct intenstity as a marker on communication to indicate importance from others...thus I seem to be miscategorizing the more subtle Fe guiding..?
Given I have very direct requests to "do A, B, C now by X deadline" from my FP and TJ collegues, it was very easy to miss that his less direct "suggestions" were actually a request to complete the task.
Finally he was like "I just finished doing it all". When I thanked him, he was kinda entp sarcastic and have me the alligator eyes and then I felt bad as I realized I had dropped the ball.
Can you guys give guidance on how I can recognize more subtle communication cues? How can I know what you want me to do, if you dont directly tell me what you want me to do?
Normally I think if it isnt stated directly (as in crazy ass direct), my brain just treats it as suggestive, thus dismissable or optional, so it is my own perceptive mode I'd like to modify if possible. Often, after thinking about where situations went wrong for a few days I go "OHHHH, they wanted me to DO something, ah, no wonder that didnt go well, I totally ignored them." But I'd like to be able to pick up on the hints in the moment if possible.