- Civic events/actions like elections and voting
I think it's BS. I think it mainly serves to cause division among people & to distract them & make them feel like they did something (without doing anything really).
- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
Commercial, materialistic, meaningless. I like some actual spiritual rituals or personal/family traditions, but not big, national holidays. I'm okay with the party stuff (ie. eating & drinking, dressing up), but prefer to call it what it is & do it when you want to (obligation can suck all the fun out). I can be affected by the mood of these things, as I enjoy atmosphere & things being "special" with a buzz of increased activity in the air. But it's more of an aesthetic experience to me than a bonding one.
- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid
I find it easier to grasp what stuff means for others now, and am not eager to devalue it. But very little of it really affects me. Being easy-going, I will show to stuff I'm invited to, and as I said above, I can enjoy some aspects, but it doesn't MEAN much to me.
As a teen, I scorned & avoided pretty much all school functions - pep rallies, prom, games. I walked for my HS & college graduations for my family. I only allowed them to give me a HS grad party. I'm way more easy-going now. Since I don't care, it's not worth resisting.
- Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?
I've never had a strong need to be a part of something bigger than myself. I've wanted to maintain autonomy &/or merge with another individual, preferably romantically.
I do various volunteer work with an organized religious group now, but when younger I had little drive to participate in such things. I admit my main motivations initially were to broaden my social sphere to perhaps find a like-minded romantic partner & to DO something selfless related to my beliefs/values & for my emotional/spiritual well-being (that sounds a contradiction; it's not). I still don't feel a part of the group I work with, but an individual agent working with them.
I do enjoy feeling less isolated & having more of a social life because I'm connected to something organized (never experienced that in school or at work either; always a lone wolf or with one kindred spirit I'd glom onto). But it still has this impersonal feeling to me so that I don't find it satisfies any core need. It's not an end in itself, but a way to open up avenues to other ends.
When I was a kid, my extended family would have big dinners periodically & there would be gift-giving, just because. We'd also go apple-picking once a year & take a trip up the coast, which was fun. I like these family traditions, even as they were repetitive. It was more specific to our family & had meaning for us. I did feel a "part" of things too.... Yet, I don't really miss it or crave it even as I have fond memories.