Kasper
Diabolical
- Joined
- May 30, 2008
- Messages
- 11,590
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 9w8
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sx
I do this stuff too. Must be NTP.
Me too
I do this stuff too. Must be NTP.
Everyone is spot on! And yes, BlueMonday... She sleeps with me a couple times a week... However, I still wonder if it's just lust and mental stimulation vs. she actually *likes me.* Could be just a FWB situation... Hard to tell. When she's with me, she is completely PRESENT, but when we're apart she will fall off the face of the earth for a couple of days at a time, save for a few sparse texts here and there...
Everyone is spot on! And yes, BlueMonday... She sleeps with me a couple times a week... However, I still wonder if it's just lust and mental stimulation vs. she actually *likes me.* Could be just a FWB situation... Hard to tell. When she's with me, she is completely PRESENT, but when we're apart she will fall off the face of the earth for a couple of days at a time, save for a few sparse texts here and there...
To an ENFP, sex followed by no call = this person does not actually like me, and is using me for my body!! LOL!
So true sanveane... It doesn't help that I'm used to having people pursue me and let me know in no uncertain terms they want to be with me... With the INTP, she calls all the shots... And keeps the terms VAGUE. Everything is on her terms... And to ask for reassurance annoys her - it feels "needy" to her... Even something as simple as "do you like me as more than a friend" gets her tongue tied and uncomfortable... She has managed to let me know she has feelings for me - only on a couple occasions... And very guardedly... And awkwardly... As if I had just sat her down in an electric chair or something! LOL!
I think you sound like you are doing just fine! They don't tend to lie about those things and if she knows how you feel but hasn't headed for the hills, then it's going well imo. They seem to know how bad they are at expressing things too, so there is the 'not feeling competent' in that area that they have to deal with.
I mean it's definitely poor form not to call the next day. But it could mean so many things! e.g. she might be completely uncomfortable with tender feelings or just completely unable to express. I won't detail but the things that were said/not said to me almost shattered my little NF heart, lol.
I know... they give you that 'I want to be alone' vibe! But after a certain time INTP seem to appreciate when you bring things up about the relationship. They never seem to. And gently. And not all the time. And accept that they might not have the language to express. :/
I feel uncomfortable giving advice, and you may not even be asking... I do know that if you have never dated one before you pretty much have to throw previous experience away, it means almost nothing! lol.
If it was just a FWB situation, would she be so guarded? I would suggest she's guarded because she's invested. Perhaps more invested than she'd like to be. If FWB was all she was prepared to offer, she's likely to tell you that, IME. And, be a lot more comfortable around you.She sleeps with me a couple times a week... However, I still wonder if it's just lust and mental stimulation vs. she actually *likes me.* Could be just a FWB situation... Hard to tell. When she's with me, she is completely PRESENT, but when we're apart she will fall off the face of the earth for a couple of days at a time, save for a few sparse texts here and there..
Only a couple? How many is enough?... She has managed to let me know she has feelings for me - only on a couple occasions... And very guardedly... And awkwardly... Even something as simple as "do you like me as more than a friend" gets her tongue tied and uncomfortable. As if I had just sat her down in an electric chair or somethinng!
To an INTP, this is like having a great 3 course meal and then complaining that you didn't get a mint with your bill!To an ENFP, sex followed by no call = this person does not actually like me, and is using me for my body!! LOL!
Substitute T and F and you are closer.You should be happy if you are a male, but if you are a female
And yet you're not with those people ... curious that...It doesn't help that I'm used to having people pursue me and let me know in no uncertain terms they want to be with me...
If she is getting everything she wants from the relationship (intellectual stimulation and great sex) then she's not going to be in any hurry to move into territory that is less comfortable to her. You either have to wait for her emotions to catch up, or define your terms and accept nothing less. If you do the latter, be explicit FFS! Don't assume she knows what you need and is withholding. Never assume anything with an INTP.With the INTP, she calls all the shots... And keeps the terms VAGUE. Everything is on her terms... And to ask for reassurance annoys her - it feels "needy" to her...
Never assume anything with an INTP.
Never assume anything with an INTP.
No, Assume the unexpected.
INTPs can be downright elusive creatures... What are the signs that an INTP likes you as *more than a friend*? So far, mine:
1) Throws "stones" at me - teases and banters mercilessly.
2) We seem to go into our own little world of conversation when together - to the exclusion of others who sit there and go what the h*ll are they talking about??!
3) Grins and makes fleeting eye contact before bashfully looking away...
4) Has majorly intense moments with me and then withdraws according to how extreme the intensity was - lol - I am beginning to think it's directly proportional.
5) Is EXTREMELY articulate, until she tries to talk about her feelings for me and then turns into a bumbling, muttering mess - usually followed by fleeing the scene.
So, thoughts?!
Hell, now even I would be confused.
Assuming I cared to begin with.
Everyone is spot on! And yes, BlueMonday... She sleeps with me a couple times a week... However, I still wonder if it's just lust and mental stimulation vs. she actually *likes me.* Could be just a FWB situation... Hard to tell. When she's with me, she is completely PRESENT, but when we're apart she will fall off the face of the earth for a couple of days at a time, save for a few sparse texts here and there...
To an ENFP, sex followed by no call = this person does not actually like me, and is using me for my body!! LOL!
My experience:
-They call you or contact you when they don't do that with many people (especially of the opposite sex anyway).
-They are always happy to hear from you. You're never "interrupting" their time. It almost feels like they are waiting for you to call at any time of day.
-They will spend a lot of time talking to you, when generally they don't seem to like to talk or socialize much.
-They compliment you when normally all they do is criticize others (but they will still criticize you ).
-They give you leeway where they otherwise might bag on someone as being "stupid" or "hypocritical" or "shallow" or "illogical".
-They open up to you about something very personal/private, and become more emotional around you.
Okay, I know those are signs for a lot of types, but in an INTP they can seem more profound.
Here's how I test the INTP waters: tease her (in a good-natured way). If she shoots something witty back, the results are inconclusive (INTPs always do this). If she giggles and blushes, she likes you.
Yeah. If she's twelve.