Quiet
New member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2010
- Messages
- 282
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5
Hello everyone,
My name's Quiet, and I am a fairly new member to Typology Central. I have a bit of a story of which I won't delve into in complete detail, but I'll share just enough for you to get the point. Basically, I am interested in gathering your thoughts, opinions etc. (whatever you want to add), so that I can continue to collect facts and information to help me along in my journey...
I will start with a question about INFJ's:
If one takes into account the nature verses nurture approach, would an INFJ need to be from a loving and supportive family background? I am not necessarily sold on this idea, but it has some reasonable evidence...
In truth, I am struggling here with a bit of an identity crisis. I am considering undergoing hypnotherapy to help me deal with some of my troubles because I struggle a lot with motivation and confidence. I did not have the smoothest childhood upon reflection, but despite this, I always cared a lot about people and have always guaged my identity through how others see me and need me to be. Whenever I am in contact with another, my main focus is on the other person, and who I need to present myself as being, in order to maintain a pleasant and harmonious interaction. I enjoy connection and can always tell somehow what is going on in another. I feel at peace somehow while doing this, because it keeps my own inner self private, while still maintaining some form of growth and learning in the process. And, although I pass some strong judgments during, I keep them to myself mainly because I am aware that they are generally, none of my business unless I am sensing someone might need help. I always want to be supportive, and I often feel guilty for thinking badly of others. As it stands, I am by far own harshest critic, and still base my own self worth and identity on how others view me...
Yet on the flip side, I think that deep within me, a rebel screams to tell the world a whole lot of hurt and angry words. I don't really bother paying too much attention to this side though, because it's all been done before. It makes me uncomfortable reflecting on negativity, and for the most part, my mood is fairly nuetral unless there is some external influence that I come into contact with. Sometimes being with others where my energy feels so focussed, I end up feeling tapped and dispondant, and need my reflective alone time to regain balance. I suppose this is me during my natural state, but lately there has been some outside influences in my life, that have been proving to be quiet stressful...
I believe I tend to slip into a shadow state, and suspect I am there right now to some degree. I tend to shut of F and go into an "automatic pilot" mode, and turn up my Ti and Te to get me through the day. Logic and buckling down with taking care of business seems to be the dominant drive, yet drive and motivation are what I seem to be lacking so much. I feel so tired, and somehow numb. I understand situational depression lifts after the external stress has gone, but while I'm experiencing this, my anxiety winds up tight inside of me, yet I implode it so I don't show anything externally. I feel such a strong need to maintain control at all times, and am becoming detail focussed and nit picky. It is adding another "fail" to my already low confidence, and I'm really struggling to keep this up. I am considering my lack of ability to deal with stress and conflict to be attributed to a lack of support and affirmation when I was young, but I need to develope some skills to overcome it, and I need to learn them in a way that makes sense to me, and that I can understand how to pick up and put into action. I have tried cognitive behavioral therapy before, but just found I felt like I was living a lie, and I think I might need something different.
I didn't expect this OP to be so long, so I don't mind if most of you gave up reading this and found it difficult to follow. I am in need though, of any members who might understand this place I am in, and feel comfortable enough to make suggestions or offer any feedback that comes to mind. Thanks in advance,
Quiet.
My name's Quiet, and I am a fairly new member to Typology Central. I have a bit of a story of which I won't delve into in complete detail, but I'll share just enough for you to get the point. Basically, I am interested in gathering your thoughts, opinions etc. (whatever you want to add), so that I can continue to collect facts and information to help me along in my journey...
I will start with a question about INFJ's:
If one takes into account the nature verses nurture approach, would an INFJ need to be from a loving and supportive family background? I am not necessarily sold on this idea, but it has some reasonable evidence...
In truth, I am struggling here with a bit of an identity crisis. I am considering undergoing hypnotherapy to help me deal with some of my troubles because I struggle a lot with motivation and confidence. I did not have the smoothest childhood upon reflection, but despite this, I always cared a lot about people and have always guaged my identity through how others see me and need me to be. Whenever I am in contact with another, my main focus is on the other person, and who I need to present myself as being, in order to maintain a pleasant and harmonious interaction. I enjoy connection and can always tell somehow what is going on in another. I feel at peace somehow while doing this, because it keeps my own inner self private, while still maintaining some form of growth and learning in the process. And, although I pass some strong judgments during, I keep them to myself mainly because I am aware that they are generally, none of my business unless I am sensing someone might need help. I always want to be supportive, and I often feel guilty for thinking badly of others. As it stands, I am by far own harshest critic, and still base my own self worth and identity on how others view me...
Yet on the flip side, I think that deep within me, a rebel screams to tell the world a whole lot of hurt and angry words. I don't really bother paying too much attention to this side though, because it's all been done before. It makes me uncomfortable reflecting on negativity, and for the most part, my mood is fairly nuetral unless there is some external influence that I come into contact with. Sometimes being with others where my energy feels so focussed, I end up feeling tapped and dispondant, and need my reflective alone time to regain balance. I suppose this is me during my natural state, but lately there has been some outside influences in my life, that have been proving to be quiet stressful...
I believe I tend to slip into a shadow state, and suspect I am there right now to some degree. I tend to shut of F and go into an "automatic pilot" mode, and turn up my Ti and Te to get me through the day. Logic and buckling down with taking care of business seems to be the dominant drive, yet drive and motivation are what I seem to be lacking so much. I feel so tired, and somehow numb. I understand situational depression lifts after the external stress has gone, but while I'm experiencing this, my anxiety winds up tight inside of me, yet I implode it so I don't show anything externally. I feel such a strong need to maintain control at all times, and am becoming detail focussed and nit picky. It is adding another "fail" to my already low confidence, and I'm really struggling to keep this up. I am considering my lack of ability to deal with stress and conflict to be attributed to a lack of support and affirmation when I was young, but I need to develope some skills to overcome it, and I need to learn them in a way that makes sense to me, and that I can understand how to pick up and put into action. I have tried cognitive behavioral therapy before, but just found I felt like I was living a lie, and I think I might need something different.
I didn't expect this OP to be so long, so I don't mind if most of you gave up reading this and found it difficult to follow. I am in need though, of any members who might understand this place I am in, and feel comfortable enough to make suggestions or offer any feedback that comes to mind. Thanks in advance,
Quiet.