Santosha
New member
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2011
- Messages
- 1,516
- MBTI Type
- HUMR
- Enneagram
- 6
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
I have a question that I'd really like to get feedback from NF's on.
A friend and I have recently been having a disagreement about relationship dynamics. It involves how much one should or is willing to compromise to make their partner happy. This friend of mine is an INTP (though it doesn't really matter). Anyhow, he thinks that in relationships there really shouldn't be much of a compromise, stemming back to each party fully accepting eachother for who they are. While I think that people should accept others for who they are, I also think that relationships tend to be built on compromise, especially when you get into long haul. He thinks that if your partner doesn't want to say, go to a family's dinner party, or help you do garden work, or engage in shared activities that you might feel important to the relationship, that you should accept this, and that if you don't and feel dissapointed, its your own issue. He asked me WHY I would wan't somebody to do something they didn't want to.. and my answer was not that I wanted this.. but that I wanted the other person to WANT to do these things. Which brought up the questions of... how much are you willing to do to make your partner happy? How much compromise will you give? Any? Lots? See, my answer was that while I might not really want to do certain things.. I really like doing things to help others out, or make them happy. Usually I find that whatever it was that I compromised was worth it to make the other happy. AND I find that there are alot of things I am willing to give up, to make the person I love happy. Now there are some things that you probably shouldn't give up, unfair demands, like giving up your friends, or a job you really love, or certain hobbies.. but beyond these key things.. I would like to know how other NF's feel about making their partner happy? How important is this to you? Have you been involved with people that don't compromise that much? How did you handle this?
EDIT: OH yes! I almost forgot my most important question! Do you think certain mbti types are more prone to compromise than others? IF so, why?
A friend and I have recently been having a disagreement about relationship dynamics. It involves how much one should or is willing to compromise to make their partner happy. This friend of mine is an INTP (though it doesn't really matter). Anyhow, he thinks that in relationships there really shouldn't be much of a compromise, stemming back to each party fully accepting eachother for who they are. While I think that people should accept others for who they are, I also think that relationships tend to be built on compromise, especially when you get into long haul. He thinks that if your partner doesn't want to say, go to a family's dinner party, or help you do garden work, or engage in shared activities that you might feel important to the relationship, that you should accept this, and that if you don't and feel dissapointed, its your own issue. He asked me WHY I would wan't somebody to do something they didn't want to.. and my answer was not that I wanted this.. but that I wanted the other person to WANT to do these things. Which brought up the questions of... how much are you willing to do to make your partner happy? How much compromise will you give? Any? Lots? See, my answer was that while I might not really want to do certain things.. I really like doing things to help others out, or make them happy. Usually I find that whatever it was that I compromised was worth it to make the other happy. AND I find that there are alot of things I am willing to give up, to make the person I love happy. Now there are some things that you probably shouldn't give up, unfair demands, like giving up your friends, or a job you really love, or certain hobbies.. but beyond these key things.. I would like to know how other NF's feel about making their partner happy? How important is this to you? Have you been involved with people that don't compromise that much? How did you handle this?
EDIT: OH yes! I almost forgot my most important question! Do you think certain mbti types are more prone to compromise than others? IF so, why?