I totally feel you bro, but somehow i have always got thru most the things with some kind of miracle like easy opportunities that come by after some time of doing nothing about things or have got so used to them that they wont bother me that much, but few things about being like that still bothers me quite alot at times.
I dont really know how to help you with this because im so much like that myself also, but ill share anyways, maybe youll figure out something or someone can help me figure out few things myself or atleast i can rant a little
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That needing someone by my side comment stood out, but i kinda feel it as i need someone as a motivator who i want to improve myself for, and who can get a little help from if needed so i dont get stuck on doing nothing because i dont know what to do or am not sure exactly what to do so i dont do anything. Its not that i dont think that i would be good enough to do all these things just for me, but i kinda dont care enough since its not constantly bothering me enough.
For example i got this tooth that i should go get some root canal treatment(or what ever it is in english) done. It started bothering me like 3 years ago the first time, then after like a year from that it started hurting so bad that i had to go to dentist(i think getting off work one day when i was bored being there was a big motivator for that). Anyway i went to dentist that day and like week later for that first root canal treatment, they gave me a new appointment because it needed few treatments, i was sick that day when i had the appointment, but i was too lazy to call there and tell them im sick and getting a new appointment. Well the tooth started feeling better, but it only had this temporary filling on it because they put some medicine in it. Now like 5 months ago the temporary filling was starting to wear off too much, so i had to call an new appointment. I went there once(had a little motivator this time also), but they didnt give me new appointment and just told me to get one, i havent.. It still has this new temporary filling and some new meds in it, i have been thinking that im gonna get a new appointment somewhere soon, or actually i have been thinking that for few months. If i would get some girl for a date or something like that for a motivator, id go and get my tooth fixed tomorrow because i dont want to come off as this so lazy guy that he cant even get a appointment for a dentist..
Kinda the same thing with cleaning my house, luckily my friends dont come to my place often, so i dont have to clean my apartment for them(i hate cleaning more than anything and it takes forever to clean this place since i dont clean my house too often and i got pretty big apartment just for me and my cat). Another thing i should do but cant get my ass up grab a phone and just do it is trying to find new apprentice job. I got one now as a photographer and i love photography and i want to be able to make a living with it someday, but the one im in now(that i was able to get in easy that came to me like a miracle) doesent help me at all. My boss is my moms friend and im working on her organization that has nothing to do with photography, but they make these videos at times that they need photos for and one time they needed photos for their website. I have been there for about a year, but i only had to work for one to few hours like 6 times. i have been thinking that i should call to some newspaper or magazine if they would want a free photographer for few months, but i just cant be arsed to do that. I would get the same money, but would have to work more, but the thing isnt about that i would have to work more since i like photography and could learn there, but its summer and i dont have to worry about job and can just live freely now and thats great. I didnt get to school that would have started about same time as the job ends and i got no idea what to do then, maybe ill just live on social service for some time since that about 360€ for a month after rent and electricity bill is fine with me and i seriously dont want to go back doing the type of work i got profession for.
I try to find motivation for doing stuff anywhere, usually somewhere that is actually out of my reach, but that maybe could happen. Like i know this chick somehow from one photography forum who moved to helsinki(where i live) from the states, i was thinking if i should ask her to take pictures and i could show her the city a little(she seems a nice girl, but bit different than what i usually like(i think shes a esfp and more mainstream girl that i usually like), so i was thinking maybe this as a date or just go out and see if we like each other). Anyways i was pretty close of asking her out at one time and thats why i went to dentist last time. Girlfriend would be nice choice for a constant motivator and if i had this kind of constant motivator i feel like i would lose all these problems about not being able to do stuff.
My biggest thing that im trying to achieve is to learn how to socialize better and enfp girlfriend would be the perfect solution for this, because i can relate on how they socialize because of shared Ne(that they use better than me), they like to socialize with new people and people who are new to me and i could be close to her watching and learning how the magic is done and join the conversations that she would start(untill i learn to do it better or get to know these new people better to i feel like i can talk to them freely). Finding any type of girlfriend would be really nice, but im so oblivious about everything around me(or around the posse im in) that i dont notice when girls look at me like their interested. Like two days ago when we went to a bar with my intj friend he told me later that two girls were looking me like they were interested, and i was looking the other one(that was in train) for like the whole 15 minutes that we were in the train, but i failed to notice that she was looking at me too when i wasnt looking at her..
Luckilly i got a steady income at the moment, so my rent isnt usually more than few weeks late(usually because i cant be arsed just to pay it even tho i would have the money).
I think thats enough ranting for now and i want to do other stuff now since im slightly stoned.