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In this thread: Fake INFJs.
In this thread: Fake INFJs.
I definitely agree with this, especially the bolded.Yes. I generally have to observe people for a while before interacting much with them. And it reminds me a bit of a game of Charades- there are some people who can guess the meaning of what I’m trying to convey more consistently, accurately and quickly than others. And there are some people who regularly miss the mark entirely. I generally pick up on this and dole out my efforts to communicate accordingly. <- Most of that is done on an instinctive/unconscious level. [There's also accounting for reliability/trustworthiness, but I figure that goes without saying.]
Exactly. The guy I'm dating is an INTJ and we have such a great connection (Ni-based, I'm sure), but both of us have such a difficult time articulating feelings/thoughts/etc (though he's probably better at it than I am, honestly)... He always wants to know what I'm thinking because I look at him with that INFJ stare a lot (though mostly unintentional), and it's kind of frustrating for both of us when I don't know how to say what I'm thinking.Definitely. I wouldn’t say it’s an intentional filter, really (not that the question implies intention), it’s just that it’s so mind-numbingly difficult to articulate some things. While I generally only get close to people who have demonstrated a knack for being able to pick up on these things without a lot of explanation, it can still be like trying to squeeze an elephant through the eye of a needle sometimes.
Also, I’ve said before (and another INFJ around here has made a similar comment) that often times my internal landscape feels something like one of those Magic Eye 3D pictures: I’ll know there’s *something* going on- tugging my sleeve, wanting my attention- but it takes a while for me to figure out what it is. I need to wait for the thing to slide in focus on its own and I’m not really sure there’s a way to hurry that process. [On more than one occasion I’ve had people angry at me that I didn’t “bring something up soonerâ€â€¦.which in turn makes me angry because it isn’t a choice to take so long to figure things out, and I resent being made to feel bad about it when I do the best I can.]
Question: are you way more scared of what you see than what you read? I am. My unconscious mind doesn't know things aren't real if I see them.
Does this correlate with MBTI/JCF/typology do you think? I don't cover my eyes for any reason, just get traumatized.This is a question of dominant sense. I find that people for whom eyesight is not the dominant sense tend to cover their eyes more often, either in fear, for shame, or some other reason.
I met an INFJ from out of town. We hit it off. We had sex that night. He flew out the next day after much cuddling and sweetness. We remained in contact texting much since. Two weeks later I end up moving to his city. I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick. I get paranoid and ask him if he's not interested and give him a nice out if he did just in fact want a one night stand. He gets a bit defensive and says he's straight forward and would have ignored me if he wasn't. Several texts later he stops responding to my texts inexplicably. It's been a few days. What happened? Did I ruin things by getting insecure or was he never really that interested? Should I try to follow up or just forget it all, despite the fact that I like him a lot...
What if he's an ISTP?
He's not. He's an INFJ. Straight up. I know my typology yo.
Ni Fe Ti Se - defs
I met an INFJ from out of town. We hit it off. We had sex that night. He flew out the next day after much cuddling and sweetness. We remained in contact texting much since. Two weeks later I end up moving to his city. I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick. I get paranoid and ask him if he's not interested and give him a nice out if he did just in fact want a one night stand. He gets a bit defensive and says he's straight forward and would have ignored me if he wasn't. Several texts later he stops responding to my texts inexplicably. It's been a few days. What happened? Did I ruin things by getting insecure or was he never really that interested? Should I try to follow up or just forget it all, despite the fact that I like him a lot...
How do you know exactly?
I think i have a good idea of what's going inside his head. If only I were INFJ worthy, I'd answer this. Don't want to come off as another fake INFJ on this thread; although it wouldn't be far from the truth -- seeing that I'm not.
I met an INFJ from out of town. We hit it off. We had sex that night. He flew out the next day after much cuddling and sweetness. We remained in contact texting much since. Two weeks later I end up moving to his city. I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick. I get paranoid and ask him if he's not interested and give him a nice out if he did just in fact want a one night stand. He gets a bit defensive and says he's straight forward and would have ignored me if he wasn't. Several texts later he stops responding to my texts inexplicably. It's been a few days. What happened? Did I ruin things by getting insecure or was he never really that interested? Should I try to follow up or just forget it all, despite the fact that I like him a lot...
Give him a week to see if he contacts you back. If he doesn't, cut back on your losses and abandon your emotional investment in him.
Mourn for the unrealized happy future with him, love yourself and cherish the fact that someday you'll find someone who'll love you back the way you do...
Well that was quite sweet. Thanks.
INFJs are all so unique and thus hard to forget...
I think i have a good idea of what's going inside his head. If only I were INFJ worthy, I'd answer this. Don't want to come off as another fake INFJ on this thread; although it wouldn't be far from the truth -- seeing that I'm not.
I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick.