My point was the contradiction between your two statements that I had quoted. It cannot both seen as socially 'okay' for Fi-users to be stubborn and self-absorbed, and for that sort of stubbornness to be something that they 'need' to overcome because people see it as selfishness.
And I think we both agree that selfishness isn't a virtue; I also believe that most people see that. That's part of my point--selfishness cannot get one very far.
I know; I was clarifying that this isn't really a contradiction because people seeing it as selfishness isn't usually the reason these people balance themselves out.
What trips me up is that men are just as emotional as women. Sorry as a man I see this alot, T types just choose to hide it behind anger as thats a "manly" emotion. 2 counselors have both said to me that anger is a secondary reaction to hurt which is what, say it with me class, "EMO".
Sim, what caught my eye is that growing up you were against anything without logic and now you are slamming the very thing YOU helped to create which is the need for Fi to NEED people to just listen to them. Sorry I grew up with an Fi and you know what they may not always have the best ideas, the most thought out responses, but unlike T people, they laugh and joke and play about it. Dude learn to try Fi out a time or two, not expecting it to be right or to slam them if they are wrong but to enjoy what Fi can bring to a situation.
Nothing in this world is about right or wrong it is about working together, laughing, having fun, helping each other out. My philosophy has pretty much always been, screw me over and I am gone, learn to let go and have fun and we can do anything together as I will always try my hardest to let things go and move beyond the past.
Not that I particularly expect you to believe me, but yeah, I'm much more attentive to the feelings of others in real life. As I've explained before I use the forum as an outlet because I can experiment with people's reactions here without burning bridges with real people.
imho Ti types don't have Fi and vice versa. The key to building emotional awareness for us is harnessing and controlling Fe, so I don't really think I can "try out Fi". If it was that easy, there wouldn't be so many longstanding Ti vs. Fi disagreements everywhere.
I imagine my forum persona makes everyone assume I'm awfully uptight and angry in real life, but that's not really the case. I am fully capable of filtering my words and actions when necessary; I just choose not to do it much here.
Honey, I've had debates with you where you suddenly felt compelled to correct my spelling or word choice because you'd ran out of meaningful things to say. But as soon as I question one of your posts for meaning and clarity I'm "imagining things."
Maybe I'm just ignoring things.
I just find it strange that you don't seem to question my generalizations until I'm generalizing about a group that you personally belong to. Seems like it would hit closer to home for you there.
btw, everyone sees what
he wants to see.
That's because some people know how to word things (and I'm not saying that I'm always one of them!). Perhaps you should use that nice fluffy Fe of yours to learn how to phrase things in such a manner that all the porcupines in a fifty mile radius don't start getting all prickly.
Well if porcupines = NFPs, then no, I'm not really going to do that. You can see how this fits in with my theory that NFPs read things into people's words that aren't there. If you guys didn't do that frequently, people wouldn't accuse you of oversensitivity. (Case in point--I directed the OP at "paranoid Fi doms", which gives all of them a chance to dissociate themselves from it simply by not classifying themselves as paranoid, and a number of them still took it personally.) So given my belief that many porcupines are overly sensitive to perceived insult, I don't really plan to fluff up my words just to avoid prickling them.
On a side note, I should point out that zero SFPs got involved in this. Somehow it's a uniquely FiNe phenomenon--FiSe seems content with reading what's really actually there and not filling in "between the lines" content with no evidence that the author intended it.
If everyone of all types (or even most people of most types) perceived as much ill intent in my phrasings as NFPs do, I might bother, but for now I'm going to continue to consider it your problem until you learn to read what's actually there and not add meaning that I didn't create.