I don't understand how people DON'T do this. Different strokes, I guess.
I met someone that mentioned that they dont allow their girlfriends to meet their family,friends and visit them at work. everything does not mix.
You mean...until the gf becomes the wife?
Or until after she bears their first child?
What are markers, man???
i keep people away from my family, it tends to get weird.
i gain the piece of mind that there isn't stuff going on behind my back, i have one less set of variables to track, and i reduce my chances of having to deal with more situations i don't want to deal with.
Yes....this is actually it, sortof.The only reason (that I can think of) for someone to do this is because they portray many different aspects of themselves to different people..
Same here. Long-termers get incorporated, short-termers, casuals and uncertains, are kept apart.It's complicated. Eventually a long-term couple should integrate their lives with their relationship, imo, but I understand if a short-term couple doesn't do this. You might know right from the start that the person you are seeing is not a long-term potential so what would be the point of integrating? It could also take a while to figure out if someone is trustworthy and not a psycho.
violaine said:I need privacy to really bond with someone, it won't happen if other people are around.
[...] I like a serious type of intimacy. I never date casually.
I don't understand how people DON'T do this. Different strokes, I guess.
I keep friends apart if I don't think they will get along. Sometimes I don't want one friend to know I hang out with people that have the characteristics, attitude, interests, morals, or beliefs of the other. It's a privacy matter. I think that sometimes one friend wouldn't understand my needs, or accept my actions, and I don't want to lose the friendship. There are some uptight people out there lol.....
Also,
Yes....this is actually it, sortof.
I have two friends I grew up with who are Christians, enjoy going to church, have toddlers, marriages, homes, etc. They know I am not a Christian, but I don't tell them all the details of my past, and they don't want to know them. I also have friends who aren't married, like to go to concerts, drink like fish, and engage in frequent one-night stands. I don't think either set of friends would "get-on" with the other set, but I like both sets of friends and choose to have them. They belong to different circles, and neither would be interested in knowing the other. So it's more about what they want than what I want when I choose to compartmentalize and leave out the details.
Also, sometimes, I simply don't bother to introduce buddies to other buddies. The relationships don't become close enough to bother (for ex/, if I only see someone one night a week, in dance class).
I do this to a point. When it's someone I am dating, I wait until it's serious until I introduce them to family & other friends. Only my last two bfs have met my family. Prior to that, I wouldn't even tell family I was seeing someone, and rarely would tell my friends. My girlfriends & I are not the kind to talk relationships much. I love the "no pressure" aspect this gives....
When it comes to friends, I tend to have individual friendships. I am not part of a group, really. I don't feel the need for my friends to be friends with each other or to all hang out together. Some people do like that; my sister usually ends up introducing her friends to one another because she likes one cohesive group to interact with. They often end up meeting some of my family also; my parents' know her friends' names more than they know mine. I've always kept friends somewhat separate from family also. I almost think it keeps the relationship more special to me.
When it comes to work, I try and keep it separate from everything. I don't like to be close to people I work with. I have no desire to be friends & hang out together outside of work, and I'm very quiet about my life around coworkers, keeping details on a need-to-know-basis.