To INTPness: (on my iPad so quoting large walls of text kinda suck)
First, you are lucky VERY lucky that Jennifer thoughtfully provided you with some much needed sacrificial photos.
Second, here I go and please be nice. I will do mah best and hopefully make sense.
Several reasons. Have you ever just been super overwhelmed by an emotion or two or the hundred? Even if it only lasts for a few minutes... If you have then think of having that feeling where you can't control it, you can't contain it, and you have no Ti to fall back to to make the emotional animal behave.
Growing up, for myself, I think I was very Fi a lot. It caused me an enormous amount of pain to show my little feelings on my sleeve. At school I got teased because I was smart. I cried. I got laughed at. I got teased for being good at art. I cried. I got laughed at. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the cause and effects here... So what option did I have? I shut it down, became quiet, and tried not to make any waves. At home when I told my dad what happened he gave me the "life isn't fair speech.". To a little INFP this is like being told Santa, the easter bunny, and the oort cloud don't exist. All in one moment.
In my teenage years we lived in Singapore and that helped give me a fresh start and I started using my Ne more (not that this was conscious at all) and I discovered that with Ne I was funny, fun, and people liked me. Who knew?!
Onward to college I had my first actual boyfriend with an INTJ. I was so excited and emotional and yay! Too much so, so that he decided it was not what he wanted. And he broke up with me on my birthday and spent 3 hours telling me what a horrible person I was and how interesting he found my pain. So another lesson learned: keep the Fi at bay when in a relationship because it sucks when you don't.
Luckily my next few relationships were much better and I did learn how to let the guy know what I was feeling without making it into too much of a big deal.
With my dad, I have been able to show my Fi before because my mom was there to help guide him. Without her he is adrift with zero knowledge of how to speak to me and so he says so many things that hurt me because I am not prepared for it. We are both kind of struggling to redefine the relationship now that is a line instead of a triangle.
Does any of this make sense?
For last night I couldn't speak what I was feeling because it was too much. And speaking a little bit about it is like letting a crack form in a dam... It all has to come out right then and there. And I hate being out of control feeling as if I am some kind of raving lunatic. For one, I know that if I get questioned I won't be able to explain myself, and two, I am quite frankly afraid I am going to say something horrible and unforgivable. I don't want that! So for me, I find it easier to have my emo meltdown alone if needed... Some time to cool down and be analytical again, so that I can then come to someone and say... Look, you really hurt my feelings because of x y z. And we can go from there.
Gifts and not asking.... Guilty as charged.
I think its because I love surprises.... And i love feeling like someone really gets me. Part of this is because my mom spoiled me with her ENFPity with an incredible knack of gift giving. Everyone always felt soo special with her gifts. it's hard to top that with a, I asked and I got, kind of thing.
If it's a small gift then I won't have a problem with asking. If it's something like a car, no way I would ask. It makes me look greedy and materialistic and I should buy that for myself to be independent. (any large ticket item)
And a tiny part of it is in love surprises because they come out of the blue (duh) and don't require me to be anxious or anticipating it. (I also have a secret horror of getting a gift I hate and not being able to hide it.)
Ok, god that was a ramble. I hope I make sense. If you question something go ahead ^_^. I put my Fi away so it's ok.