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[...] Maybe it's because I'm sp-dom, or Fi-inferior, but I'm having a difficult time making myself believe that it would be worth it, with my less mature FP friends, to open up to them ever again, until I'm fairly certain that they would know how to react. I keep thinking, EJCC, you have other friends who would react better than that (like your ENFP friend!), and maybe you should talk to them instead. You don't want anyone to poke and prod at your raw wound -- you want someone to help you sew it up.
I don’t have any problem with that. The course of action you're choosing is that of delegating roles to people at a dinner party: Accept that people have their own agendas, respect their autonomy, and adapt your interactions with friends according to their strengths and weakness.
I suppose it’s the most “Fi-style†approach to the situation, in that Fi is about defining one’s own agenda/values and respecting the agenda/values/autonomy of others. Of course, it can be taken to extremes. INFPs sometimes get caught in the trap of not wanting to burden others with their needs and going into avoidance mode; but then the situation increasingly becomes about conflict-avoidance and important issues go unresolved.
IOW, the standard INFP could try to be better at confronting people (sitting down and working out conflicts directly with people) or taking the risk of opening themselves repeatedly to unresponsive friends with the ultimate aim of establishing new modes of connection and interaction.
But in your case, you seem to have good reasons for choosing the route you’ve chosen; also, I would never accuse an ESTJ of being conflict-avoidant or of being afraid to put themselves out there with others. If anything, it seems highly appropriate for an ESTJ to use an “Fi-style†approach with Fi-Doms.