No one wants you to change who you are.
Ha. YOU don't, and bless you for that. But there are a lot of people who do...
Here is an example. Profanity may effectively and forcefully or humorously get a message across in a colorful/memorable or curt way. Depending on your audience, it may be totally appropriate for you to use...
That's different. Profanity's more obvious. Simply avoiding the use of the F word is a whole world away from completely rephrasing everything I say into sentences laced with fake emotional subtexts that I neither feel nor agree with.
Does it really change who you are or what you have to say? No, but you have to decide which language set is appropriate to which group of people. The ultimate goal is getting your point across in a way your listeners understand, and which will have a lasting effect on them.
Nobody knows this more than me; I've spent my lifetime studying linguistics and socio-linguistics, and I know I take more care than most to say EXACTLY what I mean. And since what I mean carries no ill will, malice or offence, there's no reason why expressing it clearly and precisely should give the impression that it does. My point though, is that regardless of how careful you are, there are always those people who just read whatever they want into your words. In such cases, it's not fair that I should be the one held responsible for the misunderstanding, or that I should be required to adapt even further in order to accommodate
their flaws.
I seldom see people making as much effort as I do to speak clearly, to actually LISTEN to my WORDS and give them no other value than that which the dictionary gives them. It's as if most people are just putting subtitles under what I say as fast as I'm saying it... I don't get what all the resistance is to simply taking a person at their word, rather than reading all kinds of imaginary subtexts into what they say!?
This seems to be more an issue of resentment towards someone affecting how you speak or act. Is this about who decides that something is offensive or inappropriate and you being concerned that you are being told what to do?
Partially. But also a large part of it is that I resent being held responsible for other people's perceptions and emotions. I deal with a LOT of people, ALL the time. I mean really, a lot. Each week I probably see and talk to over a hundred different people, some regulars, some occasionals, some new and of those I never know who I'll be seeing again. In general, I have no problems with communicating, and have won awards for my people skills.
Part of what makes me good with people (I've had it said in reviews and reports) is my ability to "shift gears" between formal and informal and shades in between, thereby creating a sense of openness and relaxation that
most people respond very well to.
But yet, if only say, 10% of the people I meet decide to take umbridge at the way I express myself, that's still ten people in one week demonizing me - for what? Being too clear? Is it fair that I should shoulder the responsibility for the emotional responses of these people?
Cos 10% of a lot of people criticizing you and blackening you all the time... really hurts.