How do you pick emotions of other people ?
In theory this is something in what NFs are suppose to be great at. So I am wondering how this works.
I'll try to explain it using a typological model, because I think that's a helpful way to describe these things.
But I hope you will keep in mind that I'm mostly explaining myself.
If other ENFPs read this, I hope they take it with a grain of salt.
I'm an ENFP, which is sometimes referred to as "The Psychologist."
I think this is an appropriate description, or at least one that describes me well.
I have basically spent my whole life analyzing myself and others.
I have been constructing, in my mind, a conceptual model of the human condition, based on some research and observation, but mostly experience and intuition.
I've been at this for 34 years now, and I will continue to build on it.
The model is very fluid, in the sense that is continuously developed and modified as I go through life.
At the same time, however, the model does not radically change with each new bit of research, experience, observation, or intuition.
The basic framework stays the same, but some of the variables or components will change from time to time--the same way many theories and conceptual models are apt to change.
On a very basic level, I "get where people are coming from."
This may include picking up on others' emotions, but I would extend it to include things like a sense of a person's general world-view, or a sense of the general feeling (or "zeitgeist") of a particular era.
Details are often helpful, but I generally focus on the "feel" of things.
Intuition, in the Jungian sense, does not not mean simply a
guess.
And Feeling, in the Jungian sense, does NOT mean
emotions.
The general "feel" I'm talking about is a form of genuine understanding.
Extraverted Intuition obtains information from the environment, which is then processed, in a rational way, by Introverted Feeling.
This, in itself, is a reliable way to operate in life.
Not everyone operates this way--there are different personality types.
People who assume it is unreliable simply do not understand it objectively.
Do you understand what the person is feeling right away? (like you should in online tests)
Or it is more likely that you will slowly have to figure it out through a body language/voice or somethinng like that ?
I do read facial expressions and notice body language, but my skill is not really in the physical realm.
My skill is interpreting what people say, and the deeper meanings behind their words.
Sensing may play a minor role in all of this, I am not really very focused on physical cues.
I'm not incredibly aware of the subtle cues that facial expressions and body language give away.
And I don't really focus on subtle changes in a person's voice.
I think Extraverted Sensors are much more attuned to these kinds of things.
I am more attuned to what is revealed in the
content of what people say-- to the
subtext, the
undertones, or the
overtones conclealed in the words.
My initial impressions will begin pretty broad, and they will tend to get more refined as I receive more information.
I do it mostly without effort, and it's generally pretty fast.
I can usually feel "where someone is coming from" within minutes of meeting them, or within a couple of minutes of hearing them speak.
I am wondering if you try to determine this piece of information by "default" or it taks a conscious action to do this ? (or it depends)
I determine these things in a mostly instinctive way, most of the time.
I don't usually analyze people in the form of an interior monologue, but in an active and spontaneous way, while interacting with them.
I learn in a largely "kinesthetic" way--meaning that I learn well by actively participating.
I take in information through direct experience, via Extraverted Intuition.
Since I'm dominant Ne, I tend to use Ne without effort.
I'm not really doing it consciously, it's just my general mode of existence.
Since Fi is my secondary function, it takes more conscious effort to use Fi.
Most of the time, I'm extremely perceptive about whatever it is people are feeling.
I do long stretches of Extraverted Perceiving before sifting through and applying judgement.
This enables me to perceive things that Introverted Judgement would partially obscure.
When I do start applying judgement, it's in the form others here have described.
Basically, I compare and contrast the interpersonal interactions I've had in the past, as well as interactions I've read about, or observed, with the one(s) I'm presently thinking about.
There are some fairly predictable patterns in interpersonal interactions, and some commonly used defense mechanisms and ways of interpreting them.
Being an Extravert, I'm constantly engaging in social interactions.
This gives me a broad perspective about the varieties of interpersonal communication.
I'm not merely speculating, I'm calculating probabilities based on experience.
Altogether it forms a kind of model for understanding the human psyche, but its difficult to explain the process in the space of a mere post.