i think we're slow to respond because we have a tendency to view the ease, straightforwardness and speed of the Fe dom with suspicion. Actually, at the beginning of any relationship or potential relationship, I can't help but think "sure, you find me awesome now, but what will happen when you get to know me better?"
Can I betray my own here and say you're right to be suspicious...it is a weakness of my type to find things interesting for a minute and then to move on. I've never had this issue with an INTP, however, healthy or unhealthy...you keep me laughing and interested.
but what will happen when you get to know me better?"
Are you asking this because you've noticed ENFJs are flighty at times, or because you've noticed that they see something in you that they don't like? PM me if you'd like to talk this out. I'm curious to see if there's an emotional block with you that might prevent you from connecting.
There's an expectation that I act "genuine" but also follow certain unexpressed arbitrary rules about what is appropriate to discuss at any given stage. We're really just talking about personal preferences, but they are treated by the other party like "universals" that "everyone should know."
This is especially true with dating, since people (or women, anyway) can go from hot to cold so quickly, over things that I regard as insignificant.
This is another ENFJ weakpoint. Fe leads often make grand and sweeping statements as a matter of habit because we're communally minded--ENFJs make assumptions about what people can see or can't see because interpersonal relationships appear to be so clear to us (it must be obvious [Ni]...to everybody! [Fe]). This is not the case for you.
This problem, thankfully, is easily solved with a little patience and communication. Try telling her, "Sweetheart [the ENFJ folk love pet names, they demonstrate emotional care], I didn't know about that. I don't have your instincts for things like this, can you please explain?" Not only will she be grateful that you took the time to understand, but in learning to communicate with you, she's sharpening her Ti-skills, so in the interaction you basically learn to communicate with one another. ...that is of course, if you can stay calm and realize that a.) emotions aren't a bad thing, and b.) she's logical if you dig far enough, she's just got a hard time expressing it just like you've got a hard time expressing your emotions.
If she's too immature to explain it to you, dump her. Note I'm making a distinction between "not willing to explain it" and "not able to explain it". Sometimes an ENFJ needs to talk out her thoughts out loud in order to arrive at a logical junction where things either a.) make sense, or b.) get discarded when an idea that makes "more sense" (is logically satisfying) comes along.
I would highly recommend that it would be in your best sexual interests that you start trying to figure out why your ENFJ women care about something. I guarantee with a little digging, you'll either understand and adopt what she cares about (because it's logical), or you'll explain why you think it might be better if she looked at it in a logical way...just like you do. 9/10 as long as you treat them well emotionally, ENFJs will learn to speak your language logically and you both bring each other to growth points and greater happiness.
Very interesting.
Most Fe-doms I've met seem to have a lot of acquaintances, so I tend to intuitively assume that my relationship with them won't get to be very meaningful, as I demand a relatively high priority in order to call someone a friend.
Mmhmm,
ENFJs order things in what's called "interrupt priority"...whatever just flagged them down is what their "squirrel" attention will go towards, but that's a secondary system to what is interesting most of the time. INTPs are naturally interesting to us, most of the time. So long as you treat the ENFJs well, they will likely find you a continuous source of curiosity due to the Ne...it's constantly got something fascinating brewing up there in that over-sized brain that we imagine INTPs tote around. My conversations with my buddy AJ last for three hour increments if we're both completely socially charged (or we both feel like we haven't talked enough). Trust me when I say that he's got my priority. His advice is invaluable to me and he's a logical ballast in my life.