Charmed Justice
Nickle Iron Silicone
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2009
- Messages
- 2,805
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
My children are very young, 2.3 years and 6 months. We are stuck at home a lot. I feel isolated from other people. I do feel like I am losing myself in all of it; like I am not able to work on my projects or my goals. I feel like I have NO time for myself. My husband, an INTJ, when I tell him I need closer relationships with people, suggested that I try having sex with him (which I am currently very uninterested in.)
I try to make projects out of homemaking tasks like cooking. I have been working on making my own bread and jam and cheese. I feel like I need something to keep me interested in my domesticated life. But then, when the kids are crying, I feel very selfish that I want to put these silly projects before my children's needs. I think I am more interested in my projects than my kids.
I am also currently not speaking to my mother, an ISTJ, because I am feeling unloved and rejected by her and I think she might be toxic for me to talk to. This makes me very sad and very alone. But she only talks to me because she feels obligated.
Spirituality is something that might be missing, something that I might be able to explore to add meaning to my life.
I can't figure out how to get out of this rut. I feel so isolated from other people which makes me feel very sad. But the more isolated I feel, the more needy I feel, so the more I isolate because I don't like being around people when I feel so needy because I am afraid of not being accepted and if I start talking about me I might never stop. How do I get out of this negative feedback loop? I feel totally empty, like it is impossible to fill me up. Like I can't get enough from people and I just keep needing no matter what people give me.
Thank you for reminding me about balance.
Counseling. Counseling. Counseling!! I was in the same situation you are in for years. I have an ISTJ husband and an ESTJ mother, and I felt like I lived in hell. I retreat socially when things get overwhelming, and I don't usually tell even my closest friends what my most difficult dramas are. I don't want to be an emotional burden, but I felt like I was literally dying inside. I went to counseling for 6 sessions, and just talked for an hour. Extroverts are very good at solving their own problems when they talk them out with another person acting as a sounding board. I talked myself in circles, and finally out of them, and it was such a relief.
Find some fun-loving SP or EXXP moms in playgroups. Join social groups in your city. I try not to get too involved with SJs right now, because they seem to bring out the evil neurotic in me.