think2much
New member
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2009
- Messages
- 239
- MBTI Type
- intp
I know I told you guys I won't make any more depressing threads but I'm emotionally wrecked at this moment. I can't even keep my own words, a simple task to not post shitty threads online. I have no self-respect of myself.
I have major trust issues so I always had my guard up cause everytime I let someone in my life they destroy it. I decided to open up to someone again but got crushed.
If you have read my previous posts I have other issues going in my life. My self-destruction behavior doesn't work well with socializing. I'm giving up trying to open with people. I know most of you will say "you might miss a chance of meeting someone great". I don't believe that anymore, I dont believe in love. The only reason they would deal with me is because they want something from me. There's no decent being in this world. fuck I care about anyone
I don't think people really change, I will always be lazy, uncaring, apathetic, depressed, cynical but most importantly how I view this world and my outlook in life will never change no matter how much I try.
This was what I was dealt in life, life isn't fair. Some are born without a leg an arm. Some are born with a disease. Not everyone is blessed with good balanced brain. Since I couldn't change, in last couple months I try to figure out a way how to deal with these pain. I finally came to term that I can't deal with this pain.
Why do I even stay alive? do I contribute anything to the society? do I even want to? no.... I'm just a leech in the system.
The forum is very buggy and I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window. I read my thread and it's fucking sad how shitty my grammer is but I'm too fucking lazy to learn or change it.
I have major trust issues so I always had my guard up cause everytime I let someone in my life they destroy it. I decided to open up to someone again but got crushed.
If you have read my previous posts I have other issues going in my life. My self-destruction behavior doesn't work well with socializing. I'm giving up trying to open with people. I know most of you will say "you might miss a chance of meeting someone great". I don't believe that anymore, I dont believe in love. The only reason they would deal with me is because they want something from me. There's no decent being in this world. fuck I care about anyone
I don't think people really change, I will always be lazy, uncaring, apathetic, depressed, cynical but most importantly how I view this world and my outlook in life will never change no matter how much I try.
This was what I was dealt in life, life isn't fair. Some are born without a leg an arm. Some are born with a disease. Not everyone is blessed with good balanced brain. Since I couldn't change, in last couple months I try to figure out a way how to deal with these pain. I finally came to term that I can't deal with this pain.
Why do I even stay alive? do I contribute anything to the society? do I even want to? no.... I'm just a leech in the system.
The forum is very buggy and I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window. I read my thread and it's fucking sad how shitty my grammer is but I'm too fucking lazy to learn or change it.