I think you are going about it backwards. First you get to know the person, their habits etc THEN you relate it to MBTI. It doesn't work if you know their type and base everything you do around them off of that. I know plenty of people who are the same type, they act nothing alike but I see that they function similarly.
Back when we were mechanics, I recall sitting next to my ISTP bff out in the sun on the hood of his car. We'd gotten out of the garage for the day. I was railing about this INTP I was seeing (a mutual friend). ISTP had two responses to this sort of thing with me:
1. play devil's advocate, which usually sent me over into "Who's side are you ON?! *I'm* 'Little Sister', dammit!" (to which he'd laugh and relent). Or if I was really jacked up, he'd say quite calmly and seriously, "I'm trying to get you to see the other side of this, and also, I know you could break the guy in half and I don't think he needs to die for his stupidity. YET."
He'd feel sorry for the INTP, sometimes just sit there shaking his head and muttering, "It's like you *want* to die, X." He would point out to me that the longer X knew me, the less he got me. Then he'd turn around and defend the guy because I'm an "extinction level fireball and nobody stands a chance".
2. listen sympathetically and let me cry or yell until I was calm. He never seemed afraid of me. I was grateful for that. I was so tired of being told to control myself, to calm down, to stop crying, stop yelling, stop caring. He knew me very well and understood that I NEEDED to get that mess out in whatever way possible or it would hurt me. I was in a VERY bad threatening mangling life situation and I didn't lose my temper over stupid stuff. I was truly in trouble and trying to survive. I didn't need lessons in table manners. He refrained from that sort of thing.
Thanks, that has helped alot. My conflict prevention with this person has got to the point where I just stay quiet and I am now trying to work on communicating more effectivley.
I have known her for a long time and I am looking for some help with a particular type. Feelings are a weak point. The extent of my dealing with F is if it will hurt, offend, etc dont say it. But there are times when things have to be said and I want to be able to say them without so much conflict and more discussion.
Developing your F is important, not because you need to cry at Hallmark commercials but because it'll help you to interpret the other Fs in your life.
Hard truths. Yes, there's no easy way to break those sometimes. I understand. I take hard truths from my sister and my mother because I know that they would throw themselves under a bus for me, and even if it upsets me, they would never hurt me or trample on me, so there must be something I need to examine. Granted, that takes a frightening amount of vulnerability and willingness to leave yourself open. It was okay with ISTP friend and my INTJ bff (both male), but others? No.
I have yet to meet a man in a romantic sense who didn't try to manipulate me somehow or disrespect horribly me to his advantage during a fight.