thanks for all your comments. i appreciate all the insight very much.
i had a follow-up conversation with istp on saturday. i laid it out in a quick 5 minutes (cause his friend was waiting outside for us), and i said "there is truth at the heart of what i said even though it was delivered in an emotion-filled way." and also said, "i don't need you to say it back to me because i love where we are right now, but at the same time, i wanted you to know where i am at." i also acknowledged that i am obviously more verbal than he is and it is easier for me to express my feelings in that way than it is for him.
he was great. he let me say my little speech and then he told me where he was coming from... long term relationship ended, planned to "relax" and live the single life for a while... but then his plans were interrupted when he met me. was surprised he liked me so much and now had to readjust his whole mindset. of course, he said, he had no control over the timing of when he met me, and that he is so glad that he did. he just wants to be careful.
i appreciate all of this. i am happy.