Alicia, I don't think ANY of the types are going to capture the 'real you'. There's a lot outside of type that type cannot account for. Any of us on here could write volumes about our lives and ourselves. How can all of it, including our experiences, be captured in any 2 page blurb?
I do think a lot of your confusion is tied towards your having matured over time. Also, just the general stereotypes behind the E/I, T/F, etc functions. Like INTJMom said, J's aren't always gonna have clean spaces. When you get down to little details like that, not everything is going to line up, and differences between people of the same type will emerge.
There are numerous 'little' differences between one of my INFJ friends and myself. I mean, for example, she can be quite scatterbrained at times, and I don't think I am, and her house isn't nearly as clean as I keep mine...because she doesn't care about that. BUT we're both the same type, and as far as cognitive functions go, and how we interact with others, and how we perceive the world around us and how we think, etc, we're SO similar. It's like our brains are in sync. We're 'twins' in much of our internal and behavioral sense..but external details..yeah, there are definite differences.
I know from your earlier posts, and when you first came in here, you were pretty certain on the Introvert Sensing piece....so I think that's a pretty solid start, and is probably more the real you, and from everything you've written, at least the I S makes sense to me.
It's when you start overanalyzing all this stuff that it's easy to get confused and you start identifying with pieces of every one of the types!!! I know I have done that in the past, but once I stop thinking about all of it for a while, let go, and reflect on a lifetime of my behaviors, I feel I have a better sense for what my overall 'type' is.