Listen members of typology central, I really have no idea what to do and no idea what to believe. I am frightened in every possible way, no matter which way I turn when it comes to religion. Has anyone else on this forum had trouble sorting out religious beliefs and if so, how did you sort them out?
I have done this. I can relate my personal experiences, but first I would point out several things:
1. Christianity, or the flavor of Christianity you grew up with, is not the only religion out there. If you find comfort or inspiration in the idea of God, there are many other paths to him (her), not all nearly as punitive as what you described.
2. Religion is not the only source for morality. If you are seeking primarily some principles to guide your actions, follow Nicodemus' advice and do some reading, and thinking.
3. You do not need to be religious at all to be uncomfortable about lying or dishonesty in your job. You mention you "used to be in sales", though; do you have a different job now that challenges your personal integrity less?
My falling away from my childhood religion was less traumatic than yours, since it did not involve the kind of moral dilemma you present. I simply became more and more disenchanted with and critical of my religion, and all the senselessness and inconsistency in it. Ultimately I realized I just didn't believe it. I went through some years when I really didn't know what I believed at all. During this time, I was convinced of two things: (1) the reality of my beliefs would be found internally; and (2) at least I believed in God/deity/some being or existence beyond ourselves. (2) was reinforced significantly by the writings of scientists of old, like Newton and Galileo, who saw study of the creation as one means of coming to know the creator. I didn't believe this because of what they wrote, but saw my own core belief reflected in their writings - the comfort of familiarity, I suppose.
I investigated many things - other forms of Christianity, even Bahai faith (learned much there). Eventually I stumbled across a book, which led to others almost like a scavenger hunt, and learned what questions I needed to be asking, and started to find some answers. Now coming almost full circle, I can appreciate my childhood religion much more since I don't feel I have to fit myself into it, much as I can appreciate on someone else an outfit that it not my size, or style, or color preference. There are many paths up the mountain; all that matters is that you are climbing.
If you are still having a hard time getting out of the religious mindset you were brought up with, try to focus on the more compassionate side of God/Jesus presented there. There is much in the Bible about how God reaches out to those who want to know him. For now, take this to mean simply that as long as you are honestly seeking, you will eventually find what you need, you just need to remain open to it.