countrygirl
New member
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2009
- Messages
- 722
- MBTI Type
- ISFJ
I realize because I'm a very strong enfj who is currently closer than anyone else in the world to an istp, I tend to see us at two ends of a 'typology spectrum' in a sense of extremes. I know there is some truth to it though. I really feel like both ideals: "soul mate" for life; "play mate" for life are unrealistic in that relationships are emergent. They could feel like one of those for a period of time, and perhaps even on and off, but will never be either. my problem though is that i find meaning in dreams & pretense. I want to "play" soul mates for a time, because i am rational enough to see that the result of that would mean to me that we are in a sense, & then we would, by default be "play mates."
The J in me 'expects' a relationship to have a bit of both, but in a sort of pattern. There's a butterfly phase then a comfort phase. I almost feel like, while less intense, its the Istps unwritten goal to do this backwards. This breeds too much insecurity for me, and perhaps anxiety & discomfort for him.
I've actually heard him say he gets "butterflies" in retrospect, when he's feeling comfortable & secure about us. This friggen baffles me.
So basicly what you are saying is that when life doesn't go the way you expect it to (including relationships), you get frightened and confused?