Eckhart
New member
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2010
- Messages
- 1,090
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- ???
You know, in most places I am a rather quiet person and always a bit shy and nervous around people, especially when I don't know them. I have trouble opening up and not initiating conversations or so usually. Here in this forum I admit I am mostly similar to that as well, although I have no trouble talking relatively freely about me here.
But I have also another side to show in few other situations. With my old school friends, I liked to talk more, and often I am in a quite funny mood. In comparison to some of my also very introverted friends, I was less reluctant about parties and so on; although I don't really like them a lot, I didn't totally avoid them either.
With some of my internet friends I am actually extremely outgoing and quirky, and when I tell them that I am a very shy person in real life they are really surprised.
Now, in school lessons I was always very passive, I never wanted to talk in class. Well, sometimes I had to because the teachers just took me anyway (because I had the image in our school that I never talk in class, although I obviously was not the only one), and at the end of my school time I didn't even feel very uncomfortable with it, and I had no trouble with my oral exam at end of school (actually I did extremely well). When working in groups at school, I was also rather quiet, I figured my opinion is not asked for anyway and did mostly only my part and rarely gave my opinion into things.
At university those opposites come now even closer together for me. When I can, I stay withdrawn. I didn't really make friends at university. Many students in the same major in same semester might never have noticed me. Now there are however some courses at university where you work in groups. Those groups were also filled with people who mostly would also rather stay withdrawn, and I noticed that those settings are when my other side comes out, because when no one would take the lead, not a lot would happen in group. I become very talkative, engage people in conversations, I try to keep up the mood, I help out people, I try to make sure that we get everything done. So basically the total opposite of what I usually do! However, I don't do it in a bossy or loud way (which I don't get well along with when other people do it) or so, I do it in a friendly calm way and it actually feels very natural to me, besides being not my usual interaction style at all. Right now in my group it became especially apparent to me.
Now I am wondering what that does say about me. Is it normal to have two sides? Is it just a matter of how comfortable I feel with a situation or what people I am around with? Or do I just change over time a bit? Can maybe someone relate a bit?
I knew a person in the past who was VERY outgoing and quirky when around more introverted people like me and my friends, but a bit more quiet when around other, more loud people or in class. She said that she is actually a shy person, which my more introverted friends thought was only a joke (just as I said how it is with my internet friends), but I somehow always felt back then already that there is actually more behind that statement.
But I have also another side to show in few other situations. With my old school friends, I liked to talk more, and often I am in a quite funny mood. In comparison to some of my also very introverted friends, I was less reluctant about parties and so on; although I don't really like them a lot, I didn't totally avoid them either.
With some of my internet friends I am actually extremely outgoing and quirky, and when I tell them that I am a very shy person in real life they are really surprised.
Now, in school lessons I was always very passive, I never wanted to talk in class. Well, sometimes I had to because the teachers just took me anyway (because I had the image in our school that I never talk in class, although I obviously was not the only one), and at the end of my school time I didn't even feel very uncomfortable with it, and I had no trouble with my oral exam at end of school (actually I did extremely well). When working in groups at school, I was also rather quiet, I figured my opinion is not asked for anyway and did mostly only my part and rarely gave my opinion into things.
At university those opposites come now even closer together for me. When I can, I stay withdrawn. I didn't really make friends at university. Many students in the same major in same semester might never have noticed me. Now there are however some courses at university where you work in groups. Those groups were also filled with people who mostly would also rather stay withdrawn, and I noticed that those settings are when my other side comes out, because when no one would take the lead, not a lot would happen in group. I become very talkative, engage people in conversations, I try to keep up the mood, I help out people, I try to make sure that we get everything done. So basically the total opposite of what I usually do! However, I don't do it in a bossy or loud way (which I don't get well along with when other people do it) or so, I do it in a friendly calm way and it actually feels very natural to me, besides being not my usual interaction style at all. Right now in my group it became especially apparent to me.
Now I am wondering what that does say about me. Is it normal to have two sides? Is it just a matter of how comfortable I feel with a situation or what people I am around with? Or do I just change over time a bit? Can maybe someone relate a bit?
I knew a person in the past who was VERY outgoing and quirky when around more introverted people like me and my friends, but a bit more quiet when around other, more loud people or in class. She said that she is actually a shy person, which my more introverted friends thought was only a joke (just as I said how it is with my internet friends), but I somehow always felt back then already that there is actually more behind that statement.