signature said:ISFJ
Andre Gide says it best: "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not".
Ditto.
Long-term, it's just not worth it to be "fake"; it's like you don't really exist, if you are constantly being another person.
There is a difference between pretending to be something you are not, and working to improve who you really are. Thus even the Ted Bundy's of the world should be themselves, they should just recognize that "themselves" need work.Wow! That can only ever be relatively true, for instance you wouldnt want to tell Ed Gein, Ted Bundy et al that they should "Just be yourself" and "Do whatever makes you happiest" you know?
Its only possible to feign or fake a particular state for so long, that's true but you got to keep in mind that if you're a psycho you should deal with that by getting help, not "following your bliss" like for instance a quirky artist who ditches the day job in office cubicle land could.
Wow! That can only ever be relatively true, for instance you wouldnt want to tell Ed Gein, Ted Bundy et al that they should "Just be yourself" and "Do whatever makes you happiest" you know?
If your natural self is to be a total asshole, then I think it doesn't really matter if you're true to yourself or not. You're still going to be miserable.
Ooh, disagree. I see lots of assholes who seem pretty content and happy.
My answer - better to be Loved AND Feared. People love you so much that they are scaredofto lose your favor. I believe this is the preferred method for strippers and mistresses.
I think it depends on your definition of content, but I think it's fundamentally impossible to be content if your heart isn't open, and your heart can't be open at the same time you're an asshole to everyone. The dissonance is overwhelming.
You sound like you have studied Buddhism.
I don't disagree with what you're saying but a lot of those [angry, short-tempered, rude, stressed people who act like] assholes to others would probably swear up and down to disagree with you. You even see it to a lesser extent on this forum.
Is it better to be fear and hated or loved and accepted?
There is a difference between pretending to be something you are not, and working to improve who you really are. Thus even the Ted Bundy's of the world should be themselves, they should just recognize that "themselves" need work.
As for me, I prefer respect that I have earned. Anything else is above and beyond, and I will not do much simply to achieve it.
There is no such thing as another person. Only you adapting to circumstances.
Feared and hated is relative.I don't think that "being yourself" would mean being feared and hated. Except if you are a sociopath, but then you probably wouldn't be pondering this question. Usually it seems more like the people who are unable to go all the way being themselves are feared and/or hated. I haven't met a scary person that was being honest with themselves.
I would say suppressing certain aspects of your personality. Like you said- "adapting to circumstances". If you're suppressing a number of aspects to make others more comfortable, it could be said that you're straying from your reality.Also, how can you suppress your own personality? Isn't that like pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps?