This is an old thread, but I was thinking of posting something very similar, so I did a search and when I found this I thought I would just resurrect it!
I feel like I constantly see the potential in others and that it actually tends to cause me enormous problems. It can mean that I don't see others in a realistic way. This is particularly a pitfall in the realm of relationships, but it can be a wider problem than that.
It's like, if I love someone or care deeply about them as a friend or family member or whatever, I have an unrealistic view that if I believe in them enough, they can shake off the things that are holding them back and they can be the amazing person I see inside them. I know that probably sounds terribly cheesy, but it's along those lines. Not that I think they would be perfect. I'm not QUITE that stupidly idealistic. But they would be much happier, or nicer to be around, or healthier, and closer to fulfilling their full potential.
It causes me a degree of unhappiness (sometimes a great deal of it) to see people I care about suffering, or somehow much "lower" than they should be. I want to alleviate that. I guess it's partly altruistic and partly selfish. I think I have learned a little about keeping a distance from people who really are in a bad way AND don't want to do anything about it. I've realised that sometimes you need to be a bit selfish to protect yourself.
I am pretty sure that many people like me because I am able to show that I believe in them, in a sort of understated encouraging way, and without being too pushy (although if I lecture them, it proves I REALLY care!). I think it provides them with a kind of relief. I've found this especially with those who normally have a lot of demands placed on them - because I'm not too demanding. If I like them, I'm just there and supportive. The problem is, I think sometimes such people use me as a crutch, and they think I'll always be there. Whereas what sometimes happens is I get tired of being around their pain and unfulfilled potential. Then it's almost like I go too far in the other direction. I feel like I have to write them off.
I'm not sure I'm saying what I need to say here but I wonder if anyone relates. Do you feel it's a problem to have too much of an eye to potential? How do you achieve realism and balance over this?