Okay, just read the rest of it. The experiences were mostly relate-able, but it just kind of comfirms to me that no one has the same experience.
I can relate to not liking gender expectations and deferring to men (even as a kid, I couldn't understand why so many women thought that things were better coming from a man), d and I always treated people from either gender equally, no matter their age. I respected my elders and teachers, and was kind of the teacher's pet type. I loooooooved learning, and it fed my self-esteem to be perceptive and have the right answers. About 8th grade, I realized I could make the other kids laugh with my comments, so I became sort of a respectful class clown type, so the teachers would understand I wasn't undermining their authority, but I could entertain myself and also exercise my wit. I hated school spirit, team sports, and most stuff teens were supposed to like. I wasn't popular, but no one actively disliked me. I was a beta chick, for sure. The only guys that liked me probably turned out to be gay. I think I intimidated the straight ones, and the gay ones liked that I had a strong personality (much stronger back then because I was trying on personas for size).
My parents were mostly supportive of letting me be myself and pursue whatever interests I had. I do remember that my mother often called me critical and opinionated, though. I could never understand why opinionated was a bad thing. I think she felt like I swayed my sister's opinions--if I didn't like something or pronounced it stupid, so would she. I always just thought, hey, it's my opinion. Feel free to have your own. I'm not making you think a certain way.
Dating has always been awkward for me, because I'm really not a typical girl. I have to find guys who don't need the overtly girly element, because that stuff makes me feel stupid, like I'm playing a role. I definitely need my own space, too. I never really wanted kids, never had a maternal instinct at all. But as I get older, I reaaaally think it wouldn't be a good idea to have kids. Most of my enjoyment in life comes from pursuing my own interests and improving my talents and skills. If I had to put all of that on hold and be totally focused on someone else, never having a moment to myself, never getting to relax and sleep late, and stuff, I think I'd be a seething ball of resentment.
Heather, I'll come back and answer your question.