Not an INTP but have 3 ex's who were, of which one became an ex in the past week.
To easily explain it, their internal dialogue goes something like this:
- Wow, I'm infatuated, crazy, can't get enough of her!! *bounce, bounce, head in the clouds*
- She loves me back!! *bounce, bounce, head in the clouds*
- But why does she love me? How can she love me with a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z faults and reason why not? If she sees a, b, c, d, she won't love me anymore, so I'd better hide them. And e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l will really turn her off, so I'd better hide them. M, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w better be hidden too. And y, z are little things, so I can let her see these.
- God, I'm so stressed and overwhelmed hiding a - w. She doesn't really love me because she doesn't know me. Once I show her everything, she won't love me anymore, so how can she love me now?
- I don't love her. How can I love someone who only loves someone who she doesn't know? This relationship can't work. I need some space. *withdraws*
- Wash, rinse, repeat a few times.
- She broke up with me. I knew she didn't love me. What went wrong? What did I do?
It can also go like this, however:
**Wow, I can't get enough of her (as a friend)!! She's so cool! *bounce, bounce, head in the clouds*
**She likes hanging out with me too!! *bounce, bounce, head in the clouds*
**Wait, I think she might be starting to fall in love with me.
**Uh oh, she's in love with me.
**I could never be in love with her because of a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z. It just would never work. Can't she see that? We're not right for each other! Can't she just be my friend? We were having so much fun together as friends.
**She doesn't understand why I want to hang out with her but I'm not in love with her. I know, I'll explain it to her. "OK, check this out. I really dig you as a person. But, we're not right for each other for a lot of reasons." She: What reasons are those? INTP: Well, of course! In the name of honesty, I'm not in love with you because of a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z.
**Uh oh. She hates me now. What did I do? I was just trying to explain and show respect by being honest so that she would understand.
**Let me call and see if she wants to hang out tonight. Uh, oh. She really does hate me. Doesn't want anything to do with me. I guess she wasn't my true friend to begin with. She was only in it for what she might be able to gain from it. Ugh!
As you can see, everything is working things out with some sort of reasoning.