bump. Hi, I'm Nick. I'm 23. I've been reading for about a month, and I finally decided to join. Hi
So, I broke up with my girlfriend of whom I was with for 4 years, a little over a year ago and I'm starting to think I might need to see a therapist or something. Generally, I'm against the idea of paying somebody money to hear me out, but I really don't know what else to do... We met after graduating high school. She was a straight-A student going to the University of California San Diego, I delivered pizza while going to a technical school for graphic design. We had ups and downs, actually broke up 3 times (sometimes I broke it up, sometimes she did), but we always got back together. I don't see myself as cold as the stereotypical INTP. I believe in second, sometimes even third chances.
Then we both get DUI's (separately) and seeing each other got more difficult. I moved a little further away, and we probably only saw each other at most twice a week. This was about 14 months ago, neither of us had a job, or a driver's license, or a clue anymore. We just hung out, drank, and slept together. I told her that I didn't want to break up with her.. but I just needed some time (to myself) to get back on my feet. She couldn't understand.
She called me one day while I was in the pool with a friend and said to me those fateful words "I started seeing someone else" ..... "but I don't want you to stop talking to me".....
After everything that happened between us, and with the dire straights our lives were in... a part of me was happy that she found someone to give her the love she wants, but the other part felt completely empty. Now I say I'm only 23, but this was the worst moment in my life, having nothing else to hold on to... I'm actually surprised I've made it as far as I have, but shit is still so wrong.
I tried to be friends with her after not talking for about 8 months. (sigh) she's hooked on heroin, and she hasn't even started working on getting her license back... basically the party never ended... and it's still going. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with it, but while I wasn't talking to her, I got my license back, got a car, and started my career with Sony Online Entertainment. 2009 was the hardest and most lonely year I've ever had, and she'll never know. So, my problem.
I have everything anybody could ever want at my age. I'm single, I have any awesome job, I have an amazing car (1979 super beetle), and I've got some friends (even though I swear they're retarded). I was much happier in a broken relationship than I am now all alone. Some days I delete her from my facebook friends list, convinced that going back to ignoring her will help me move on.. some days I add her back, hoping that I can find the courage to help her, help her through her addiction and that would in turn make me happy, but every time I see her face, everything inside me implodes. and there's nothing left but space inside my chest. It would be alright if she didn't keep IM'ing me talking about how shitty her life is and how she can't control it every week. I need help..
She's an ENFJ
thank you for anything