INTJguy123
New member
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2012
- Messages
- 19
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
oh yes, I got that your roommate is a guy. I mean... she deflected your invitation.
Sometimes, as an INFP, I have trouble with someone being so direct, and I could see myself deflecting someone out of self-protection. Maybe that's the case? But again, we can't read her mind....and we can't pretend to know.
You never know what the other person is thinking or what they're going through. Maybe you caught her in a moment of self-pity and she's consumed with feeling lousy about herself? Or maybe as Earthtrekker says, she needs a little time? I hope that's the case.
Oh ok I see what you're saying. Definitely seems like deflection. The only other thing I can think of is maybe it was her way of trying to get me to be more open about my overall intentions and why exactly I wanted to go out with her and why art? Because seriously, she had to have known that I would be like WTF at the thought of going with my roommate
I'm baffled. Really. As stated in my earlier post, though, most INFPs don't throw out those kind of signals lightly, so if the signals stopped or waned after that night at the bar seeing you pay attention to and leave with another girl despite her signals, some application of my earlier hypothetical reasoning might indeed stand. In that event, you're probably going to have to address it in some way in order to fix it, because self-protection mode likely set-in. Otherwise, if she's genuinely not interested, try to find someone not dense enough to let an opportunity like such a discriminating guy directly stating his intentions go by. You risk catching a bad case of stupid from her otherwise.
The signals only increased after that night haha. Or so I thought. Who knows
I read your first post and your last post. My opinion follows.
Don't admit defeat just yet. She now knows you are interested, however, she may be suspicious about your intentions. If she is and has been interested in you she undoubtedly noticed you went home with the enfp that night at the bar. If she is friends with said enfp she may be avoiding you if her friend is attracted to you. If she does not know the enfp, she may be concerned that the enfp was a conquest and she doesn't want to get involved in a fling. Do give her a bit of time and space if she needs it, don't push her on the issue. Just continue being honest, friendly and open with her. After a bit of time if she still gives you the cold shoulder, she may need to know that you didn't involve yourself with the enfp because of your interest in her, or she may not interested in you and you misread the signs. At that point, ask her if that is the case and what you can do about it (only do this if you are really pursuing a meaningful relationship with her or else you are wasting both your time). If she doesn't give you a chance, leave her alone and stay out of the friendzone. Good luck in grad school!
Thanks but I'm confident the ENFP thing didn't end up factoring into the equation. I've been pretty obvious with my attentions afterwards as well
Oh well, we'll see what happens. I'm not very eager about this anymore. I put myself out there and am proud of my actions..no regrets.