Do you know what you want out of life?
Not exactly.
I want to keep tap dance in my life in some major way. I'm interested in choreography. I'm interested in NOT adhering to the standard dance company format. A tap dance band would be better. I want to choreograph with my friends. I also want to collaborate with my friend (who's in theatre, and wants to get into directing) on choreography and movement stuff. Basically, I have these ideas/projects in my head and I want to do them. Not so lucrative, but you know.
I want to be fluent in Japanese. Maybe live in Japan? I don't know; I'm happy here and I'm happy in America. When I get to the point of fluency, I don't really know what I want to do with it.
The things I'm interested in don't seem to be a "normal" combination... So, I have no example to draw from. Hooray.
Are you happy what direction your life is going?
I'm not
unhappy with the direction my life is going. I actually don't even know what direction it's going, to be honest. My life after July is kind of a huge question mark right now.
It might be hard at first, actually. Most likely, I'm going to have to go back and live with my mom for at least a year due to my massive student loans...and take whatever job(s) I can get. If I can stay at home with no living expenses, and put all of my income toward my loans...hopefully I can make a dent in them. (I hate being held down by money.)
Besides, I have only one other plan in mind at the moment, and I'm going to have to wait at least a year to apply for it. I was thinking of applying to the JET Program...basically you live in Japan and work as an assistant English teacher at middle schools and stuff. The only reservation that I have here, is that I'm not necessarily interested in teaching (it actually kind of scares me)...but what else is there for me to do? I need to do
something. I've found that inaction (just sitting around and thinking) is pretty much useless for figuring out what you want.
What are you doing to change your current circumstances to get to where you want to be in life?
Studying.
Tomorrow I'm heading to a tap studio and taking a trial lesson... See if I can do some "networking" (that concept makes my skin crawl) here in Japan in the tap community.
I feel like I should be doing something as far as applying for/finding a job for when I go back home...but since I'm not going to be back until the very end of July...is there anything I can/should be doing right now? I have no idea.
What motivates you to achieve and finish what you started?
Having a strong sense of shame and failure helps. But really, most of the things that I start are things I want really bad in the first place, so I don't have a
huge problem with motivation.
As far as things I don't really want to do, that I
have to do...well, if I don't do them, most of the time it negatively affects the things I
do like. If I think of it that way, I'm way more motivated.
Of course, none of this stuff is set in stone. At all. Things could be dramatically different. But this is what I've got at the moment.