@
skylights, I'd truly be interested to hear your thoughts on why you think INFP's often have an easier go of things than do ENFP's. Maybe our heads are less "all over the place", but in "social acceptance" or having deep-E's like you instead of think your weird and avoid you or act like you don't exist, or pretty much any group/collective social metric I think its totally all about "ENFP's for the win."
Well, for me, the first important thing is that just being an E doesn't make you socially fluid, or even social. Personally, I was really a wallflower until I was in college, actually, and I'm still really pretty ambiverted - as are most ENFPs - so it's odd to me to hear how ENFPs are socially celebrated. I think the thing that's getting to me is the confounding of factors in terms of it being ENFPness in and of itself that inspires social celebration - it's not. If an ENFP is socially celebrated, it's probably either because they're openly social (which not all ENFPs are), or because they have something positive to contribute, and contributed it to the right people.
Often it seems like people who are not social turn against social people for being social, as if they did something wrong. I used to do this myself... I begrudged the people on the "inside", thinking that they didn't want me. Since then I've learned that most social people are welcoming of new people, introvert, ambivert, or extravert. Social people are not actively excluding introverts and ambiverts; they're just being themselves and interacting as they understand to be best. Social people are socially celebrated because they contribute to the social realm... it's as simple as that, really. Social people know how to respond and interact with other social people because everyone puts themselves out there, so a living environment of action and response is created and modulated - a society. Social people struggle with less-social people because it's hard to know what to do with them in a social setting. How do you include them? Do they even want to be included? If they don't want to be included, how do you still treat them kindly without including them? If you're making a group effort or plan to do something out of the norm, should you include them? Do they want to be included?
It's all contingent upon information that non-social people don't typically share, so it can be a challenge to interact with them in a group setting. I've learned this especially being a leader with really introverted people on my teams. One of the introverted girls I work with is possibly the best worker there; she could probably run the place if she wanted to. Problem is, no one really knows what she wants most of the time, because she doesn't voice it, even when asked. For those of us who try to account for everyone in our calculations, that really poses a challenge. Of course we can talk in private, but so much goes on in the group setting and we have so little time that we can't really just step aside every time, plus that would make it unfair to everyone else who doesn't get private consideration. I would like for us to be able to break down in smaller teams more often, but the realities of the workplace make that difficult.
I think honestly it boils down to it's hard for very social people, often strong extraverts, to know what to do with you or how to approach you when you're a strong introvert, because you're not really putting much data out for the extravert to engage with. It's really a failure of communication on both sides, or even mostly a failure on the extraverted end because we don't know what to do with a lack of external information. It shouldn't be translated into people not liking or appreciating introverts, because it's really just a communication breakdown. The irony is that if INFPs were more vocal about wanting recognition, they would get it.
My point being, I don't think there's anything about INFPness in and of itself that makes INFPs less socially valuable. INFPs may have a harder time engaging socially because it's not your natural dominant process to be extraverted, but in terms of value and contribution, which is what the social group seeks, INFPs are on par with ENFPs. The thought that an INFP is like a socially-stunted ENFP doesn't help anyone. INFPs are invaluable for dominant Fi processing of emotion, depth, tone, validity, compassion, and value-based judgment, and those kind of contributions would be very appreciated in many groups. INFPs have better stability, more groundedness, and more of a consistent internal structure that can be relied upon over and over. INFPs are calmer and less volatile. They also do better in small groups, where they really shine both as mediators and contributors. For certain positions, an INFP is the clear choice.
And the question, of course, is what can we do about this situation? My first thought is that we try to break down into smaller groups more, so INFP talents can be maximized. What else, introverts? Where do you shine brightest?